LET THE LITTLE CHILDREN COME TO ME | KAIROS GLOBAL | MARCH 2022

Author: Soni & Janet

Intro: Parents of four young kids, Soni and Janet speak of the importance of attending Holy Mass together as family.

Parents with infants or toddlers always face one big dilemma, especially on Sundays. Should we go for Holy Mass? If yes, what if our child goes wild and how do we keep the child calm and occupied during Mass. 

Most dread even trying while some parents try for a while and then drop going to church altogether. There are parents who leave their kid/s with babysitters or take turns to attend Mass. Some persistent parents keep striving to attend Mass with their kids even though they spend most of the time looking after the kid/s instead of focusing on the liturgy; they also invite judgmental looks from others, who consider families with young kids a nuisance. In each case an integral part of celebrating the Holy Eucharist as a family goes missing, despite the Church encouraging families to bring young children to mass. As Pope Francis says, Never silence a crying baby in Church. Never, because it is the voice that attracts God's tenderness.

We are a young family with 4 kids (1 month, 2, 4 & 6 year-old) and we believe that having small kids should not be a hindrance but a blessing to attend Mass with. After each Mass we find a special joy of togetherness as a family. We attend every Mass just like any regular attendee by sitting in the midst of the congregation. Our eldest son Michael holds his Sunday Youth Missal and recites the common prayer responses aloud, the younger one Samuel watches on curiously, Rachel sits or stands calm and sometimes helps us in getting song books, no crying or running around the pew throughout the Mass.

So how do we achieve going to regular Mass with our young kids? Initially with our first kid we too faced the struggle of keeping him quiet, but ever since he was baptised at 2 months, we made it a point to attend every Mass with him. When kids understand that going for Mass is a regular family activity, they tend to be more cooperative. With every subsequent child, the younger child observes the elder and follows suit. So, if the elder ones are calm, so will the younger ones be.

We also follow few simple steps to prepare each child before going to mass: 

• Satisfy their physical needs: Make sure they are not hungry or sleepy when they come for Mass. These are two situations where children can’t be reasoned with.

  
  

• Avoid distractions: Avoid getting toys or books to keep children occupied. They need to know that they are also active participants and not mere tag-alongs.

  
  

• Feed their reasoning: We need to understand that our kids rely a lot on logic and reasoning. We as parents are bound to explain the importance of Mass and its different aspects patiently and in a respectful way, without waving them off as too young to understand. Michael started asking questions from age 3, 'Why do we go to Mass every Sunday?' and our answer would be very simple yet logical: 'Every good thing around us, including this family, house, toys, food is a gift from God and in Mass we go to meet Jesus and say Thanks'.

  
  

• Remove the insecurity: For a child, change leads to insecurity; a new atmosphere, people, sounds and even smells can make the child tense. As parents we need to make them feel secure and safe. For this we need to prepare them in advance; give them details of what, when and how. In the case of Sunday Mass, we tell our kids a day prior, sometimes we also need to tell them on how to behave in church and how to respond when the priest gives them blessings, etc. Also, add it to your routine by bringing consistency of going to Mass at same time, same church, sitting at the usual aisle; this helps in making children comfortable.

  
  

• Walk the Talk: Kids follow what parents do. Especially during Mass, if we are distracted and not attentive, kids will follow the same. 

We believe that every child, infant or grown has the same soul which longs to unite with God during the Holy Eucharist. Even though we think that the younger ones are feeble and naive, they have a fully active soul which wants to unite and rejoice at the celebration of the Holy Eucharist and we as parents have the spiritual responsibility to facilitate this in our child's spiritual growth from their earliest age.

Soni & Janet are married for 8 years, have 4 kids and live in Halifax, Canada. They are a young family who strive to live a life according to the teachings of the Catholic Church.