KEEPERS | KAIROS GLOBAL | MARCH 2018

Author: Raifiel Cyril

Intro: Jexin and Bindhu shares with Raifiel Cyril how they weathered a storm and how it helped them take some radical decisions to help others.

Jexin and Bindhu lived in the UK before moving to Canberra, Australia in 2011. They have two children, Angelina(11yrs) and Tom(9yrs). Jexin is an IT Business Analyst and Bindhu is a Clinical Development Nurse. They are Jesus Youth and involved with the Family Ministry & Intercession ministry.  This faithful family weathered a storm when Tom developed Leukaemia a few years ago. As they depended on God to receive peace that surpassed human understanding in these circumstances, they came out healed, closer, stronger and with a deeper revelation of God’s love. The experience of suffering made them take some radical decisions to bless others.

How did you come to know about Tom’s illness?

Bindhu: Through prayer, we had an inkling that something was about to happen to our family. One morning I noticed Tom limping slightly. The GP insisted there was no cause for worry but, finally agreed to do an ultrasound, which revealed a collection of fluid. The orthopedic surgeon who looked at the report also insisted it was normal but, seeing my incessant tears, gave me a blood form. The limping and the fluid had nothing to do with it but, the blood test did confirm Leukemia and, we were asked to bring Tom in. 

How did you respond to this news?

Bindhu: I didn’t know much about Leukemia except that it was very serious. They recommended that we take him to Sydney for treatment. It was hard to pray or make sense of this whole situation at the time. We left for Sydney the next day and offered mass on the way. We were in one room as a family for a month receiving treatment. Now when we look back we knew we couldn’t think beyond our selves and were in a sort of cocoon during that time. After a month, we started stepping out of the curtains of our enclosure and, realised that the other children in the ward were suffering so much more. We could see the children and knew that some of them didn’t look like they could survive so, we knew how blest Tom was. The doctors told us we had more than an 80% chance of recovery, which was a lot of hope.

How did this unforeseen circumstance alter your life’s plans?

Jexin: In that year we had planned holidays around Christmas time. We were to host the Perunnal (Feast) in our church in Kerala and, it was also our 10^th wedding anniversary so we had every single day planned for that vacation and tickets were booked well in advance. However, our plan was different from God’s plan.

Were you able to see God’s hand in this situation?

Bindhu: Our Perunnal was on Feb 7-8 during which, Tom was very sick. He was admitted on 24^th Dec due to the complications after Angelina left on 18^th Dec for Kerala. He was in the hospital for 46 days with no food or water and had to be fed with a tube going into his intestine through his nose. Between Leukaemia and Pancreatitis, the doctors were unsure what to do. It was good Angelina wasn’t there, as it was a very traumatic time. She was supposed to reach Australia on 10^th Feb. On 7^th Feb, quite miraculously coinciding with the Perunnal, Tom’s temperature suddenly started coming down. He was discharged just minutes before Angelina landed and all three of us went to pick her up. This is a miracle that no one can explain. Tom’s consultant said, I don’t believe in God but, Tom is a miracle boy. God really planned everything perfectly for us. Also, even though I was not working for a year, I was paid for every single day. God really blest us through our employers too.

How did it impact your marital relationship?

Jexin: Through those 46 days, Tom was unable to sleep on the bed because of intense pain. For most of those days he lay curled up in Bindhu’s lap and she hardly ever slept. This process really helped us to grow as a couple. We knew each other since we were teenagers but, this trial really bonded us like never before.

How did your faith get impacted during this trial?

Bindhu: I never thought why God allowed this in our lives. But I was unable to pray or do anything about it initially. A lot of people asked me to just surrender but I couldn’t. It’s easy to say ‘give things to God’ but really hard to do. My attitude was that I wasn’t willing to give what was mine. But later, I reached that point where I realised, ‘No Bindhu it’s not yours. Tom’s not yours. You are just the keeper’. There were some days when I would want the doctors to come with some good news about Tom’s condition, but they never did. That’s when it struck me that only God can do something and, I had to give the situation to God. I still remember one day I was in the room with Tom in my arms. We looked at each other helplessly because we knew that we could do nothing, our family could do nothing and the doctors too could do nothing. That is when I told God, ‘you gave this gift to me.  I have taken care of him for 5 years. Now I am giving him back to you. If you have a plan for his life and want him to do something on this Earth then, give him back to me. But if you want to take him, take him’. Then I felt free and was at peace. Following this complete surrender I changed as a person and was able to smile and pray. I also got the inspiration to pray the way of the Cross and got encouragement from Mother Mary’s strength through Jesus’ trial and death.

What is the story behind your shaved head?

Bindhu: Jexin and Tom shaved their hair before starting chemotherapy so Tom wouldn’t feel bad. We could see that Tom was shy of meeting his friends because of the way he looked. I also noticed how hard it was for young girl patients to deal with the loss of hair. More than the cancer it was the hair loss that bothered them. Since then I had the desire to reach out and help others in this situation. 

I started going to work after a year and learnt to knit from my colleagues during the night shifts. We made a lot of Beanies and raised money for cancer patients. Later I also made a lot of jewelry and raised money for cancer patients in India. I had been thinking of shaving my head since the beginning but, was delaying it only because it had been a huge shock for Angelina when Jexin had shaved his head. Now, since she was ready and was in fact encouraging me, I decided to go ahead. There is a site called ‘Worlds Greatest Shave’ where you can raise money for cancer patients. It’s not necessary to shave your head. You can also opt to cut it short or colour it and raise money through the site. A lot of people requested me not to shave my hair and offered to support the cause but I wanted to do it. The message I also want to give through this step is that hair is not such a big deal and, we must stop giving it so much importance. I know of a family in India who committed suicide because their daughter had cancer and they couldn’t bear the thought of her going bald. People are so beauty conscious today that they seem to value it more than life itself- I really wanted to give the message that your hair doesn’t define who you are. 

Were you able to raise money through this?

Jexin: Bindhu just wanted to shave her head more than raising money so she registered her name on the website and kept a small target of $250 as she didn’t want to publicise it too much. But a few people came and told us that this is something we must share with others and encouraged us to keep a target of $10,000. But that seemed too much to us so, we put a target of $3,000. We easily crossed that and then changed the target to 6,000, then 8,000, and then finally 10,000. So far, we have already raised more than $13,000. In the western world, people with serious illnesses are often isolated and abandoned by their loved ones. In such cases this support is a great relief.

In what other ways is God using you?

Jexin and Bindhu: We also make sure we keep in touch with those who are going through a similar situation and provide emotional and prayer support. God is really using us in the lives of many families in this manner. During Tom’s illness we were very isolated and lonely. A lot of people were praying but no one could relate much to our situation. Now we understand what families are going through and are glad to be of help in someone else’s dark times.

What would you say to those who are going through trials and sufferings in their lives?

Bindhu: In nature there are calamities and life will always have struggles. Apart from God no one can help you. If you walk away, you will be walking away into more troubles. Just go through it and allow it to purify you. In daily mass, I simply give all my worries and sorrows to God and after I receive the body and blood of Jesus, it is all forgotten. That peace cannot be found in anyone else. 

There is great beauty in facing troubles together as a family. I am from Wayanad and, the ground there is often slippery due to the rains. When Tom was diagnosed I felt I was on slippery ground and we could slip very easily. But by holding and supporting each other, we could walk through with God’s help, without falling. Tom recovered completely by God’s grace. We often remind Tom to value the gift of life he has received and to be a good human being. As a family it is our desire to serve God and others because that is what we believe life is all about.

Raifiel Cyril is settled in Canberra, Australia with her husband Cyril. She is a Writer, Counselor and Musician