THE LORD'S RUNNER | KAIROS GLOBAL | FEBRUARY 2021

Author: Biju Viswanath

Intro: An unwillingly attended retreat changed Biju Viswanath’s relationship with God. Today, he testifies that his life and work witness miracles because of an unwavering pact with the Lord.

But those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint (Isaiah 40:31).

This Word of God is very true in my life as I can truly say that what I am today is all because of him. Being born into a Catholic family of priests and nuns had its own advantages and disadvantages for my early faith formation. Even though I believed in God, I didn’t want him to have a share in my life – he had his way and I had mine. But Lord has his plans for me which was to give me hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

It was my uncle who forced me to go for a retreat to Assisi Retreat Centre in Bharananganam¹ immediately after my 10th standard exams in the year 1989. I am very thankful to him, despite all the ‘unpleasant’ happenings which became a blessing in my journey with my Lord. Even though the retreat changed my attitude towards God, it didn’t bring any change in my relationship with him. But the tragic death of my mother’s elder brother who was a priest instilled in me the desire to become a priest, which helped me take decisions to build a relationship with the Lord.

When we make a decision to follow him, he will change our entire environment and others around us will begin to experience it, without our uttering a single word. I made the decision during the holidays after my first year of college. When college reopened – on the first day, at the first period itself, my teacher surprised me by saying, ‘Biju, I see a change in you, keep it up.’ One of the first decisions I made to come close to the Lord was to join a prayer group. So I began to attend the charismatic prayer group in my parish and the Jesus Youth prayer group in my college.

The friends in Jesus through my prayer groups were the greatest treasure of my life; their sharing, advice, love, etc. slowly started to clean the impurities in me. Some suggestions like put a chair for Jesus while you study and make the Bible one of the subjects you study, etc. really reflected in my results and started to earn me marks which I never even dreamt about. During my study time, the first subject I studied would be the Bible and only then would I study any other subject. In no time, I fell in love with the Bible and began to read it while commuting and during the free hours in college.

Reading the Bible totally changed my perspective of the world – my life, people around me and my future. I started to live the Bible literally. Living the Bible makes others think that you are crazy and I was challenged by the life of St. Francis of Assisi who literally followed the words and life of Jesus. The most attractive chapters in Bible for me were Matthew 5, 6 and 7 which I think contains everything needed to live a Christian life. It helped me to be detached to everything in this world – wealth, fame and achievements. I have only one desire that is His kingdom and His righteousness, all others has been added up (Matthew 6:33).

As I walked with Jesus, he started to give me small responsibilities. Even though I was not a person with leadership skills or who could speak well, he started to use me. The Lord didn’t want skilled people, he only wanted a ‘donkey’ to carry him wherever he wanted to go. The only thing I decided was never to say ‘No’ when the Lord asks, even if I was 100% sure that I could not do it. I believe that if I fail, it is Jesus who fails, so he will never allow me to fail. He can even make things right when I blunder. When I evaluate all the responsibilities undertaken, I know for sure that whenever I gave control to the Lord, I saw miracles and whenever I tried to do things my way, they started to go wrong. I still remember, the first team I was elected to, the Trivandrum Zonal Campus Team. I never expected to be elected and when my name was called, I had trouble believing it. One thing that really amazes me in the Lord’s calling is that he calls those who aren’t expecting and those who expect, are never called.

Since the Lord loves and knows me better than myself, he always gives what is best for me. So in prayer, I never ask for my personal needs but share my thoughts with him. Later, I find that he has given me that which I had never even dreamt about. I had always believed that it was the Lord’s responsibility to find me a job as I was busy doing his work. So I never hunted for a job, this caused some problems at home as my parents and relatives began worrying about me. Anyway, at the right time, which is his time, he gave me a job, without my applying or even preparing a resume. When I was getting my visa processed for my job in the Gulf, the travel agent was surprised to know I got the job without any work experience. The funniest part about my job is that, I was on the interview board that interviewed candidates for the job I eventually took!

When in 2006, I got the offer for my present job in this Gulf country, I was very hesitant to take it for I was afraid that without the Sacraments and prayer groups, I would not survive. But through spiritual companions, the Lord revealed that it was he who gave me this job and that he would take care of me. And yes, over the subsequent years, I saw how the Lord made me an instrument in building his kingdom in this difficult nation. As I was leaving for this country to take up the job, I remember telling my mother, ‘Don’t expect me back alive, I am going to become a martyr for the Lord.’ Since the Lord had a different plan for me, I still continue to work for him. He uses my job, time, salary and myself, fully for his work. Since I had made a pact with Lord that I would do his work and he should do mine, I regularly see miracles. He gives me wisdom and knowledge to excel in my career as I give first priority to him.

The Lord gave me a special grace to forgive people despite how they may have troubled me. Even if they throw curses at my face, I am able to smile at them and say I love them. But once, I struggled to forgive a colleague. I used to justify my inability to forgive him to his being a non-Christian, attributing his troubling me to his religious belief. But then I began to feel the blessings from the Lord grow distant and I started to commit mistakes in all I did. When I shared this with my spiritual guide, she said that there was no way out than to forgive him. On my immediate vacation to India, I attended three retreats in a row to get the strength to forgive. After forgiving him, I began to see everything fall into place and the blessings flow. He continued to give me trouble, and I kept forgiving and loving him. I started helping him any opportunity I got. Slowly, he started to acknowledge that if he needed any help he could come to me with the surety that I would help him better than anyone else could.

My journey with the Lord over the past three decades has not always been easy, there have been ups and downs, tiffs with the Lord, faith crises and spiritual struggles. Sacraments and fellowship helped immensely to overcome these struggles. One of the strengths I have from the movement is that whenever I become weak, there are many around who stand by me and raise their hands to heaven. The most beautiful moments of my life are the times of quiet prayer, where my soul and Jesus’ become one. How beautiful it is to sit in the lap of Jesus and experience the warmth of his heart! Yes there is joy, there is peace and there is fullness. This is what motivates me to run for the Lord and never tire of doing so. Please pray for me to continue in my journey with the Lord and to receive the crown of righteousness (2 Timothy 4:8).

¹ Bharnanganam is an important Catholic pilgrim centre in South India.

Biju Viswanath works as an IT professional in a GCC country. He is part of the International Council and was previously the National Coordinator of the resident country.