RAISING HOPEFUL CHILDREN | KAIROS GLOBAL | APRIL 2024

Author: Sheena Andrews

Intro:Sheena Andrews tells parents what to do to raise children of hope. 

According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, hope is the theological virtue by which we desire the Kingdom of Heaven and eternal life as our happiness. St Paul’s letter to the Hebrews says, Faith is the realisation of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1). As the Church and Bible teach, faith and hope are closely linked, inseparable. Christian life is centred on these virtues. From Abraham our father of the faith to the everyday saints, we have so many heroes of hope, those who hoped against all hope as St Paul explains in Roman 4:18. Mother Mary is the perfect example of one who hopes against hope. After the glorious annunciation and her YES, everything she encountered was not so hopeful. The journey to Bethlehem; the escape to Egypt; Simeon’s warning of the sword piercing her soul; and finally Calvary – nothing brought hope if looked at in ordinary ways. What gave her strength to hope against hope was the faith she had in God. That is what gave her strength to stand at the foot of the cross while her son was brutally killed on it and to endure the days before the resurrection. The same faith and hope is what makes her the mother of faith.

If you watch the news, if you listen to conversations at work or even those in church circles, people in general are not very hopeful. Everyone is worried about one thing or the other. Inflation, war, global warming and climate change, lack of job opportunities, poverty, after effects of the pandemic… the list of things we worry about goes on and on. Living a life of hope seems so hard let alone raising hopeful children, one may think. Although it may seem hard to foster hope in children in the face of all the challenges the world has to offer, as Christians we are called to live a life of hope and raise a generation of hopeful children.

First and foremost, children watch their parents more than they listen. If the father and mother have a strong faith life and are hopeful of the future, kids naturally pick up on it. It’s important what our hope is aimed at, not retirement savings, not career goals, not future success of children, not social status, not the passing praise of humans. Our hope is in eternal life in heaven, which is what we toil for every day. Although we don’t say this out loud every day to the kids, they will see how their parents respond to the challenges of daily life, how they face failures, how they react to unexpected life events and how they reorganise and renew their life in the light of hope of eternal life.

Parents should encourage children to follow their passions and pursue their interests. God created each of our children uniquely for their own specific role in this world with unique abilities and skill sets. Identifying their innate abilities and providing opportunities to develop and refine them help them grow in confidence. Remind them how their abilities can be used to help others and to glorify God. This will give them a sense of responsibility and the belief that they have a special part to play in this world.

Fostering a positive attitude in everything is very important as well. Point out the bright side of any negative situation. Talk well about others to the children. Teach them to learn from their mistakes. Avoid comments that put them down. Avoid overreacting to small mistakes. Set realistic boundaries. Comment on progress they make. Be genuine and intentional in all your interactions with the children. Do not be hesitant to admit your own mistakes. Apologise to children if warranted. Set an atmosphere of joy and leisure at home. Watch good movies and sports together. Encourage fun and laughter. Do outdoor activities together. All of these help them not to dwell in negativity but to look at the world with hope.

Teenagers plunging into depression is commonplace today due to several factors, both internal and external. Identifying the point where they need professional help is crucial before they venture to find solutions on their own which can lead to drug use, immorality and even attempting to end their own life. When giving professional psychotherapy make sure to choose Christian/Catholic counsellors. Parents giving them the help they need in a timely manner fosters faith in parents and hope for the future. Parents themselves may experience moments of hopelessness and helplessness in different phases of their parenting journey. These are the opportunities to grow in our own faith journey, so make good use of them. All the challenges we experience as a family in our own lives or our children’s lives have a place in God’s plan for our salvation. As Jeremiah 29:11 says, For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope.

To conclude, parents are called to reflect the love and patience of God the Father. If you ever lose patience with your children just reflect on how patient Father God is with you. How many second chances has he given you? He still believes in you. He still pursues you. As parents all we need to do is try to imitate a fraction of the love and mercy and patience God has shown us this far. May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13).

Sheena Andrews is a neonatal practitioner working at Texas Children’s Hospital, and mother of seven. She lives in Houston, USA.