LITTLE HANDS TO HOUSEHOLD CHORES | KAIROS GLOBAL | MARCH 2022

Author: Aneesh K Thomas and Tintu Aneesh

Intro: Aneesh K Thomas and Tintu Aneesh write about how they get their children interested and involved in the chores at home. 

I am Aneesh and my wife is Tintu. We live with our parents. Our family is blessed with four kids with a two year age gap (the eldest is 8 years-old and the youngest, 1 year-old). We thank God for choosing us to raise his children and we pray he blesses our humble efforts and be parents according to his will. As responsible Catholic parents we are very concerned about inculcating an interest towards work and duties in our children and we constantly try and figure out new ways to include them in the household chores.

The Bible reminds us in Luke 2:52: And Jesus kept increasing in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and men. We tell our children how Jesus as a boy would have accompanied Joseph with carpentry and helped Mary with her chores.

Children observe keenly

We have observed that the basic interest to try something new and take up responsibilities comes through observation and adaptation in children. This is a big realisation and the need to set good examples for them at home begins here. Our attitude towards various domestic chores and circumstances are keenly observed by children and it influences their attitude towards work too.  Many times, we have noticed that children have a natural inclination to things we consider easy and are reluctant to take up chores which are tiring for us. We have noticed that our children are more active and creative when they are also taken along while doing daily household activities instead of telling them that they can't do it. Also, it is our concern that children should have a positive approach to all chores. 

Smart apprentices

Most of the time we cannot entrust children completely with a responsibility but we can ensure their participation in the most interesting part of the work. When we do something at home, we ask our children to be smart apprentices so that we can ensure their participation as well as their safety. We still remember how our children enjoyed helping with moving furniture at home, preparing ground for the new fish pond, cheering us every time with elaiyyas (cheers in Malayalam, usually to lighten strenuous work), and bringing us water and snacks. It was really surprising and enjoyable to know that even though they were below 7 years, they took responsibility to take care of the kitchen, prepared cool drinks and snacks and served with great enthusiasm. This gave them the feeling that they too were a part of a productive activity at home and improved their confidence. With these little experiences they have of working together, we are sure they will be capable of doing smaller chores independently and may seek our help too, if needed.  

Supporting their interests

We have understood that children respond more when we give them tasks they are interested in. We should be able to figure out what type of activity our children like and engage them accordingly. Whether it be organising toys, decorating the prayer room with flowers in the evening or arranging the table for dinner or folding dried clothes, each duty can be assigned to children considering their age and taste. Acknowledging their work every time is also very important.

Earlier, the kids used to complain often that it was very boring at home and nothing else but screens were their last resolve. But since we began to support their small experiments and outdoor activities, we have noticed that most of their YouTube searches are related to seeking new ways to make their outbound activities more alive and interesting. As a result, they are capable of washing the car, slicing vegetables, kneading dough, etc. They research recipes of their favourite dishes and try to prepare it themselves. Every time we too accompany them without interfering in their choices. We often make sure that we don’t impose our interests and tastes on children but instead appreciate and support their choices.

Ownership 

Another interesting way to involve children in household activities is by teaching them to enjoy the fruits of their efforts. Whether it be planting something new or learning a new DIY technique from YouTube, you can constantly follow up their progress and creations. We often ask our children whether their plants have bloomed or tomatoes have grown big and this gives them a feeling that they too are involved in something important at home. We also try to inculcate in them gratitude towards our animals and plants for providing us with milk, egg, fruits, etc. Andrea, our daughter takes this duty quite literally by verbally thanking our pets, livestock and plants and also enquiring about their wellness. It’s a reviving experience for us parents too to watch our children enjoying the fruits of their efforts.

Sportsmen and referees

Chores from washing clothes to cleaning the house can be done with sportsman spirit if we parents have the patience to be good referees. We have seen our children thoroughly enjoying the scoreboard system and treasure hunts we do to get them involved in household activities. We even can utilise their screen time to explore various techniques to simplify their daily household activities. The small, daily activities at our home like adding sugar to tea, and holding the strainer while pouring tea, etc. belong to each child, though these activities could very well be done without their help too. Be it fish farming, feeding goats or cleaning the backyard, the children are given small daily responsibilities; this gives them the sense that their contributions have been vital for the survival of these livestock.  

Encouraging small experiments

We also encourage our kids in easy cooking experiments like making a bullseye or instant noodles, letting them be the chief cook while we join them as apprentices to ensure their safety. While shopping or at restaurants or petrol pumps, we allow them the opportunity to place orders and make payments. Activities like these at home and outside have helped our children escape the spoon-feed culture. 

Element of surprise

Another important thing we noticed which really works for children is adding a surprise element to anything new we introduce to them. Our children are pretty sure that the grocery bag we bring home daily contains some small gifts for them. All are curious to transport the groceries from the car to the kitchen to grab their tiny gifts. Along with our patience and time these small encouragements help the children keep alive their interest in doing chores.

Upgrading

We also ensure that the elder ones upgrade their skills and entrust them with bigger responsibilities to remind them of their capacities. Entrusting them with chores like separating organic and non-organic waste at home, preparing a weekly menu for the kitchen, etc. will make them grow as responsible individuals and gradually they will learn the importance of abiding by rules while living in a society.

What we have noticed in such activities is that they become aware of the people around them. When they perform their assigned duties, they also try to help younger ones perfect it. By doing so, each child understands the other's strengths and weaknesses and learns how to be concerned for others. In our experience it helps develop their character as well as understand and respect the feelings of others. 

Aneesh and his wife Tintu live in Idukki, India with his parents and four children. Aneesh works as an administrative staff at Pavanatma College, Murikkassery while Tintu is a homemaker.