LIFE QUESTIONS | KAIROS GLOBAL | AUGUST 2026

Author: Joseph Sebastian

Audio:https://open.spotify.com/episode/4NLW86RMGdwoGH93HFXjbl

Life Question: When I take stock of my life, I find I have a lot of regrets – in decisions, in how things have turned out, and it constantly plagues my mind. How do I deal with this?

Thank you for being so honest. Many people quietly carry regrets in their hearts, though they may rarely speak about them.  Some ignore them and push them down into the subconscious level. The fact that you can name this honestly matters, because recognising what weighs on our heart is often the beginning of healing.

First of all, let me gently say this: you are not alone in feeling this way.

As human beings, we all make decisions that we later wish had been different. Sometimes we act too quickly. Sometimes anger, fear, hurt, pressure, confusion, or our own weaknesses influence our choices. At other times, life unfolds differently than we imagined. 

Regret is often part of being human.  But faith reminds us of something important: we are not called to live perfect lives. We are called to live faithful ones.  That does not mean our mistakes do not matter. They do. But our failures are not the final word of our life.

One of the most moving moments in Scripture is when the woman caught in adultery is brought before Jesus. By the law of the time, she was to be stoned. Yet Jesus responds differently: Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone (John 8:7).

I often find myself wondering what she must have felt in that moment: the fear, shame, hopelessness and even confusion. And then Jesus says something deeply beautiful: Neither do I condemn you… and from now on do not sin again (John 8:11).

Perhaps this is something your heart needs to hear too: Jesus sees what has happened and understands the weight you carry, yet He does not let your mistakes define your life. Instead, He meets you with mercy and gently invites you to begin again.

That is the heart of our Father toward us. He is not waiting to shame us for our regrets. He sees our sorrow, our questions, and the quiet wish that things had been different. More than our mistakes, He sees our heart and our desire to heal and begin again.

At the same time, it is true that some decisions have consequences. Certain choices may change the direction of our lives or affect people around us. Some wounds remain. Some opportunities may not return.

Life can sometimes feel like taking a wrong turn on Google Maps. We may end up on a road we never expected, and the journey may feel longer or harder than planned. Yet even then, the destination should not be lost, because God is still able to guide us from where we are.

Perhaps it may help to gently ask ourselves:

• Have I truly brought this regret before God?

• Have I truly repented and asked for His forgiveness?

• Have I sought forgiveness where needed – both from God and, where possible, from the person I may have hurt?

• Have I tried, where possible, to repair what can still be repaired?

  
  

Sometimes healing comes through action: a conversation, an apology, a changed habit, a better decision. At other times, there may be nothing left to ‘fix’. In those moments, we slowly learn to place even our unfinished regrets into God’s hands and trust His mercy.

And maybe one more question matters deeply: not only ‘What went wrong?’ but ‘Where am I heading now?’ Are you slowly turning your life toward what matters most: peace, truth, healing, and God Himself? Because in the end, faith is not about never falling; it is about continuing to return to the Father.

As St Paul reminds us, We know that all things work together for good for those who love God (Romans 8:28). This does not mean our mistakes are good, or that pain suddenly disappears. It means that God, in His grace, can still bring hope, wisdom, healing, and even new beginnings from places that once felt broken.

So, let’s be gentle with ourselves, not letting regret become the loudest voice in our life. Instead, let it become a guide and a doorway from guilt into grace that helps us know Him more clearly, love Him more dearly, and follow Him more nearly. And perhaps, through it all, find deeper wisdom, greater surrender, and a closer walk with our Father who never stops loving us.

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Life Question: I have a screen addiction problem. But somehow this Lent, was able to give it up. But now, it has come back with a 'vengeance'. How can I control/overcome it?

Many people quietly struggle with habits they wish they had more control over. In today’s world, where screens are woven into daily life, it is easy for something that begins innocently to gradually take deeper hold and even become an addiction. The fact that you are able to recognise and speak openly about it matters, because honest moments like these are often where healing begins.

The fact that you were able to step away during Lent tells me something important: this struggle does not completely own you. You have already experienced that change, even if temporary, is possible. And the fact that you have slipped back does not erase what grace helped you do during Lent.

Many of us know what it feels like to do well for a while, only to find ourselves falling back into old patterns. That can bring frustration, regret, and even disappointment with ourselves.

Perhaps this may also be a gentle moment to pause and ask: What happens in me when I keep reaching for my screen? At times, it may simply be habit. But at other times, it may be tiredness, loneliness, stress, boredom, or even a quiet need to escape. Sometimes, the screen becomes a place we turn to when something deeper in us feels unsettled.

So perhaps overcoming this is not only about ‘trying harder,’ but also about understanding ourselves more gently.

A few simple things may help. Rather than making big promises, begin with small faithful choices. Notice what draws you back. Create moments and physical spaces of distance. Perhaps pause for a short prayer before opening the phone, step outside for a walk, listen to music rather than watch the screen, read a few lines of Scripture, or spend time in a real conversation. Lasting change often grows quietly through small consistent steps.

In moments like this, my thoughts often go to Peter: a person who knew what it meant to struggle, fall, and yet be held by grace.

Peter deeply loved Jesus. Yet, despite all his good intentions and bold promises, he still failed. In a moment of fear, he denied even knowing Jesus – not once, but three times. I often wonder what Peter must have carried in his heart afterwards: regret, shame, disappointment, perhaps even sadness/anger at himself.

But the story does not end there.

After the Resurrection, Jesus comes looking for Peter. He does not shame him. He does not remind him repeatedly of his failure. Instead, He gently asks, ‘Do you love me?’ (John 21:15-17).

And Peter, now humbler and more honest, finally says, ‘Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you’ (John 21:17).

Perhaps there is something deeply healing in that prayer. ‘Lord, you know everything. You know my struggle. You know my weakness. You know my desire to change.’  Because in the end, our faith is not about never falling. It is about continuing to return.

So do not lose heart. Lent was not simply a temporary ‘I can do it’.  Perhaps it was a gentle reminder that grace is possible, that freedom can grow, and that God is still patiently at work within you.

And each time you fall, simply return and pray: Lord, You know everything. Lead me by Your love and grace.

Joseph Sebastian, PhD is a social development professional with a Doctorate in Social Work, having over three decades of experience spanning multiple regions and time zones. He has been actively involved with the Jesus Youth movement since his undergraduate days. Passionate about mentoring young leaders, he also walks closely with individuals and families in their vocational journeys. Joseph is married and lives in Kerala, India