In Focus - Reclaiming Womanhood ( April 2026 )

In Focus

Title: Reclaiming the Truth of Womanhood

Intro

Jilu Chengat invites us (both women and men) to ponder upon certain mysteries of life as she reflects on the meaning of authentic femininity in the Lord.

Article

Early in my journey of motherhood, I encountered a moment that quietly unsettled my every understanding of femininity. Before being a mother, I served in various ministry and leadership roles. After marriage, I quietly stepped back from leadership to tend to my vocation and family, until a few months after my daughter’s birth I was invited to step forward again.

I have a distinct memory of standing before a group, with my husband in the back of the church caring for our infant, feeling as though everything was upside down. Dozens of ‘shoulds’ and ‘should nots’ flooded my mind. Though I had grown up in the United States and considered myself an independent woman, I was surprised by the traditional expectations that surfaced within me. In that moment, I felt deeply torn by the dissonant social and cultural realities that shaped my understanding of womanhood. I found myself in the middle of a battlefield, longing to discover the true meaning of authentic femininity in the Lord. 

Defining the Battlefield

Perhaps it is important to begin by defining this battlefield. Who are we fighting against? From whom are we reclaiming femininity? Is it from men, the government, or society? Though there are real battles that need to be fought in all those areas, the real battlefield is in hearts and souls, where humanity’s deepest questions about dignity, identity, and vocation are fought. For our struggle is not with flesh and blood but with the principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness, with the evil spirits in the heavens (Ephesians 6:12).

Seeds of doubt planted in Eve’s heart around God’s provision and protection were deceptively simple but powerful enough to open the door to sin. The subsequent guilt and shame experienced by both the first man and woman further weakened them and strengthened the enemy’s claim. When Adam was unable to protect Eve’s vulnerability – either preventively or in response to the enemy – a blueprint was created that would repeat itself throughout history. The dynamics of sin and isolation became powerful weapons against women’s dignity, both from within and from outside. But in the beginning, it was not so. 

When God made Eve, He called her ezer kenegdo. These Hebrew words are often reduced to ‘helpmate,’ a translation that falls far short of their meaning. Throughout Scripture, ezer is most frequently used to describe God Himself, the One who comes to the aid of His people, who saves, defends, and fights on their behalf. It is not the help of an assistant, but the help of a deliverer.

Kenegdo means ‘corresponding to,’ ‘facing,’ or ‘equal to.’ It denotes a counterpart who stands opposite, not beneath. Together, ezer kenegdo reveals that when God made woman, He made a strong ally – one who stands face-to-face with man in dignity, strength, and purpose. She was created not as a subordinate, but as a partner, equal in worth, distinct in mission. Yet, sin distorted this gifted identity, and it would be generations before the miraculous birth of God made man – in the womb of a humble virgin – could reclaim true womanhood.

As ezer kenegdo, a woman’s role in this battle against evil is not marked by brute strength or striving. When her receptivity and vulnerability are surrendered to the Lord, and she presents herself as quiet, grounded, and powerful, the evil one’s deceptive tactics are thwarted. Mother Mary, as a young virgin mother who became the Queen of Apostles, exemplifies how these qualities, when yielded to God, become formidable weapons. In this way, quiet, grounded, and powerful, as imaged by Mother Mary, emerge as a beautiful rallying cry in reclaiming womanhood. 

Quiet. Grounded. Powerful.

Quiet

Quiet may seem an unlikely word to lead a rallying cry. Yet, in the face of evil, silence holds incredible power. This is different from silence in the face of injustice or the silence of ignorance. This is not a silence that endures abuse or violence.  This quiet is not marked by a certain number of words, but describes a way of being. This quiet does not engage in dialogue with the lies and doubts of the evil one – as Eve did – but stands in silent protest, strengthened by faith in God’s provision and promise. 

It is a pregnant silence, one that consents to God’s will, and bears truth. This quiet characterises the image of Mary at the foot of the Cross. Her silence speaks volumes and her quiet rebellion undermines the enemy’s plan. Even in the most devastating circumstance, she does not submit to the lie that God could be overcome. She may have been swayed by grief and sorrow, but the many words of the Lord and the ponderings of her heart had given her a strength beyond understanding. 

Grounded

This quiet confidence speaks volumes against fear and uncertainty. At the foot of the cross and amongst the disciples before Pentecost, she does not run away in self-protection, nor is she paralysed by uncertainty.  She does not give in to hysterics and gossip, but stays grounded in the truth of God and His provision. She exemplifies these words from St Paul to the Colossians (2:7), rooted in him and built upon him and established in the faith as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving. Her presence at the birth of the Church amongst the frightened disciples images the gift of her rootedness and faith. 

This is not just a spiritual grounding, but one that is embodied. Women move cyclically, in their bodies, in their ways of working and in their relationships. The Church, in her liturgical seasons, embodies this rhythmic movement. The predictable cycles, year after year, provide stability for all the faithful. Likewise, the grounded woman who honours the rhythms of her body, becomes a source of security and an anchoring point, as exemplified by Mother Mary.

This embodied wisdom emerges slowly. Through the hidden years of Nazareth, Mother Mary’s attunement to the quiet whispers of God helped her grow in confidence of God's direction and her own capacity. Her presence at the birth of the Church mirrors a woman’s inner awareness of life growing within her, marked by quiet anticipation and awareness of her changing body. 

Powerful

In this way, when a woman submits to God’s timing rather than the world’s urgency, her power is no longer reactive or anxious. It becomes authoritative. This is the kind of power we witness in Mary at Pentecost. In those desperate moments, she was both queen and mother, beloved and trusted because of her constant witness of faith. Her power is not used for personal gain but becomes a self-gift. Her faithful and fruitful maternity reveals a powerful love that mirrors God’s love for His people and begets new life. 

This power is entrusted to all women, visibly expressed through motherhood where authority is exercised through presence, formation and sacrifice. GK Chesterton talks about motherhood in this way, ‘How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No; a woman’s function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute.’

For many years, a woman’s reality may be being everything to someone, whether through physical or spiritual maternity. Chesterton reminds us that this influence is enormous and becomes an indispensable reality in disputing lies against ceaseless productivity and the ‘useless’ vulnerabilities of women. Our vulnerability and receptivity become our greatest strength that allows us to stand in hope in the most difficult of situations. 

Living our Feminine Genius 

For most of us, when faced with impossible or dire circumstances, whether we are in a boardroom or our bedroom, we often turn to despair and anger or fear and grief. These responses have their place, but none are quite so effective as a quiet pondering in our hearts: ‘How can this be?’ 

With Mother Mary, let us learn to ponder these mysteries in our heart. How can it be that God has called me to be an ezer kenegdo? How can it be that the quiet of my heart can bear so much fruit? How can it be that the genius of my feminine body is meant to instruct humanity about the movements of God? How can it be that God has entrusted me with the power to form the next generation and shape cultures and societies?

These questions are not simply for women to ponder! In fact, men are invited to deeply reflect on these profound realities with us. Let us ponder these truths and hold them in our hearts, live them in our bodies, and form them in our families. In doing so, we have already begun the great task of reclaiming true womanhood, one that is quiet, grounded, and powerful. 

Author Profile

Jilu Chengat is a wife and mother of four children, living in

Massachusetts, USA. In addition to hybrid home-schooling

and managing her home, she writes and spends much of

her time serving the Jesus Youth movement with a focus on

spiritual advisement and accompanying young people to

hear the voice of God in their lives.