CHALLENGING YET JOYFUL JOURNEY | KAIROS GLOBAL | NOVEMBER 2023

Author: Alina Ann Mathew

Intro: ‘Holiness isn't just a destination; it's a continuous pilgrimage,’ writes Alina Ann Mathew on juggling the roles of wife and mother while pursuing holiness.

In the quiet moments of my life, amidst the chaos of motherhood and the demands of being a wife, I have come to understand that holiness is not just a choice but a lifeline, a source of grace that weaves itself into my family's existence.

Every day, I make a short prayer before my work and most part of it reflects my urge for holiness, not as a destination but as a journey so tough, so tiring, still worth it.

As a mother, I've come to realise that holiness isn't just an individual pursuit; it's a shelter for my children. It's the fortress that shields their innocent hearts from a world that often seems relentless. Psalm 127:3 reminds me that Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. I understand that to raise them in the light of holiness is the greatest gift I can offer.

Yet, I won't deny that the path to holiness is challenging, sometimes impossible. There are moments when I'm overwhelmed, when patience wears thin, and exhaustion threatens to dim my faith. But my God is always faithful in his steadfast love and he reminds me from inside that I am called to holiness and his grace is sufficient. It's in those moments that I find strength in his promises. 

There are also times when I witness the forces of discord and temptation seeking to tear the bonds of our family. It's as though Satan himself has set his sights on the harmony we hold dear. 1 Peter 5:8 reminds: Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. I remain watchful, praying for discernment and wisdom to protect my family from the enemy's snares. We fail, but we get back. Because the Lord is faithful. I've come to see holiness as the unannounced exam that life throws my way. Some days, I ace it with grace, managing to keep my cool when conflicts with my husband hits hard or the kids decide to turn the living room into a waterpark. Other times, I fumble and fail, learning valuable lessons from my less-than-holy reactions.

As I reflect on my journey as a Catholic mother, I realise that holiness isn't just a destination; it's a continuous pilgrimage. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever, assures the Psalms. For I know that as I persevere in holiness, my family is sheltered by His goodness, and together, we will find our eternal home in His loving embrace. But in the daily circus act of my life, when I am asked to balance my roles as a mother and a wife while keeping my spiritual equilibrium intact, to be honest, some days, I feel like I'm juggling flame balls.

Also, I often feel that when I compromise on holiness, all heck breaks loose. It's like the universe has a mischievous grin and a checklist, and if I don't stay true to my faith, turmoil and trouble are quick to RSVP. I suddenly console myself saying even saints had their share of clumsy moments. It's in those times of imperfection that I find solace in the laughter of my children, their playful innocence a reminder of the joy that holiness can bring.

So, while I may not always earn a perfect note, I still keep praying, and keep embracing the chaos with a smile because, I believe in the end, it's the journey toward holiness that truly matters. After all, what's life without a little laughter and a lot of grace?