BETTER WITH EVERY STEP | KAIROS GLOBAL | JULY 2021

Author: Jacob Jose

Intro: From changing fields of work, resigning mundane jobs, finding and pursuing his passion – all the while experiencing God’s caring providence – Jacob Jose speaks of his life’s journey and work.

I remember walking behind my father and asking him to draw an elephant on the slate. I recall how, as a child, I fixed my gaze on the statues and decorations in our church and marvelled at it. I could say that I've always been drawn to beauty and art.

In school, I felt like a fish out of water. Those subjects I excelled in were not in the syllabus. And there weren’t many exams that I could pass and receive a grade. I drew people, trees and Jesus crucified. My penchant for art, more often than not, landed me in trouble. My canvas was any surface that could be drawn on. Text books, desks, drawing room walls and pillars were all silent victims of my craft.

Apart from being able to open the bowling attack for the college team, cricket did not help either. Hotel management in Mangalore¹ was not an intentional choice. There weren’t many options before me. I arrived in Bangalore² as a result of my college campus selection to Hotel Taj Residency. After two years of drudgery, I resigned the hotel job. With no work at hand, I wandered the streets of Bangalore, only to come across a poster advertising a multimedia course. I had no exposure to computers other than once seeing how a black cursor moved on a television-like screen, mimicking the movement of the mouse. I enrolled as a student of multimedia and learned to manoeuvre the mouse myself. Walked into a travel agency and begged for a job and they did. I had a day time sales job and a company scooter and, in the evening, for three days a week, I attended class. The transition was exciting, but not for my parents and relatives. They couldn't believe I’d quit a prestigious job at the Taj to take a computer art class.

My mother, during every routine weekly call, would remind her semi-wayward son to repeat the words ‘Jesus I trust in you.’ Once, responding to some unknown inspiration, I took a train to Muringoor³ and attended two retreats back-to-back. When I returned, I began attending the Bread of Life prayer meeting at St. Joseph’s European School on Thursdays. It was there that I first encountered Jesus Youth. After attending the Jesus Youth gathering every Sunday for a few months, I was invited into the Bangalore core team. And thus began my JY journey. Beena Varkey, a full-timer from Bangalore, was instrumental in my becoming part of the movement.

My first ever Jesus Youth training programme was the Final Year Training Programme (FYTP) which took place in 1997. On the spot skits, pulling legs, and impersonating volunteers, the programme opened up a new world before me. Friendships were genuine, laughter was contagious and insights were mind-blowing. As I walked out of the retreat centre, the words ‘I’m loved by God’ and ‘He has a whale of a plan for my life’ rang loudly in my head. This realisation of my one-of-a-kind election and call was so profound that I had to ‘reset’ my life.

Kainos, a national campus meet held in Bangalore, was the catalyst for my involvement in the movement. By this point, I had already begun working as a web/graphic designer for an IT firm. I quit my job because someone had to go to colleges and invite students to the programme. Traveling to different places, meeting principals, students, and meeting bishops with little or no money was a daunting task for a timid, easily discouraged youngster like me. I witnessed God miraculously directing my steps and opening doors everywhere. This taught me to trust God without agendas of my own. I was also asked to coordinate the skits and lead the audio-visual team. It was no ordinary task that it brought me and the rest of the team to our knees. We prayed for help. Skit after skit, we witnessed unimaginable spiritual transformations in the audience. I learned to rely on God rather than my own abilities and skills. The programme was a huge success, but I was out of work. I took a low-paying job in Trivandrum⁴ and became involved with the Jesus Youth there. During this time, my family asked me – the only earning member at the time – to look for work in the Middle East and thereby help support them financially. A kind neighbour in the UAE arranged for a visit visa. The Word of God assured me that this was God’s plan, and I knew in my prayer that I would find work within a week of arriving.

I took a loan from my aunt and purchased my tickets with no specific plans in mind. All I wanted was for God to use me to help the family get by financially. On the third day after arriving, I received a call from an IT company to come in for an interview. The interview went well, and I was hired. I started working exactly one week later. The faxed copy of my resume in the interviewer’s hands is still a mystery. I met the Jesus Youth in Dubai and became part of the movement there. 

Wrote, directed, and acted in a number of skits and assisted the then coordinator of Dubai. I became involved with other groups there, building bridges between the youth groups. And after I had sent enough money home, it was time to return. Many people were perplexed by the decision, but I was certain that my mission there was over. I returned home, this time too with no specific plans.

Being away from home for so long and living in humble circumstances taught me to be grateful for every little blessing, such as a place to live, a bed to sleep in, food to eat, parents and siblings to love, water to drink, air to breathe, and everything else. I hugged my father and crawled up to sleep next to my mother in the afternoons while she rested. I cherished everyone around, and my relationships with others became beautiful and meaningful. I learned to be compassionate, to ask for forgiveness, and to try to understand why people do what they do. I learned to ask God to bless others more than he blessed me. I dared to ask God to thwart my plans and have his will done. However, there was still a lot of debris to be purged and purified, but I was in good hands.

Business was never my first choice because I was born into an agricultural family. Despite all odds, God provided me with a cute little penthouse office just 300 metres from MG Road⁵.  It was a commercial building built by the Bridgettine sisters, next to their convent. To me, this was nothing short of a miracle. There was a chapel downstairs and Blessed Sacrament was exposed during the day. What more could I ask for? I painted the office walls yellow and drew flowers on them. The large glass windows overlooked lush greenery outside. It was here I started out, running a design firm with no design degree or art background. 

I made a website and wrote on the landing page the simple truth that I’m only a pencil in God's hands. It was then that I realised the logo I had designed for ‘jekobdesignery’ already had a pencil in place of the letter ‘I.’ This could not be a random occurrence. I was slowly coming to know the God who walked with me all the time.

In the midst of an evolving pornographic culture, my passion for beauty and art also got tainted. I became a victim and struggled to get out of it; things got to a point where I gave up pursuing purity as a pointless pursuit. That’s when God introduced me to Theology of the Body through a dear friend, Diana Joseph. I wasn’t an avid reader but this book which she gave me to read, Theology of the Body for Beginners by Christopher West, changed my life. God opened my mind to understand the truth about human body, sexuality, love, relationships and marriage. My marriage was already in its second or third year. I had taken many things for granted and had unrealistic marital expectations. At one point, I even worried about our marriage falling apart. I poured out my frustrations in front of the Blessed Sacrament and was immediately convinced that I was the problem, so I resolved to change. I had to relearn how to love. My perception of love was completely distorted, and false. All I wanted out of my marriage and my spouse was selfish pleasure. This epiphany humiliated me and shattered my inflated ego. God was, in fact, rebuilding me.

Theology of the Body answered many fundamental questions for me.  I also began delving deeper into the Catholic faith by listening to and reading Catholic material available both online and offline. Started looking for answers to common objections to the Catholic faith. I must say that I was blown away by the answers the Church provided, starting from the Church Fathers to theologians of today. She had answers to all questions. I also realised that what is unknown will remain a mystery until the day everything is revealed. This is a no-nonsense approach, no speculation, no addition, no deletion, a proof that the Catholic Church is indeed the True Church Christ established. The Church, through her authority and appointment, preserves and teaches what Christ and the apostles had handed down. How fortunate I am to be a Catholic.

Change has never been so difficult for me. But this time when we knew that it was time to leave Bangalore and settle in Cochin⁶, the concerns about children's education, my career, disposing of the office, house, finding a new house, and adjusting to it, all became real. Then there was a sentimental attachment to Bangalore, since I lived here for nearly 20 years and had come to love everything about it. But nothing held us back. We moved to Cochin next summer. The transition was smooth. The way God provided for us was beyond imagination. I was glad I made Cochin my new home. I became actively involved in the movement and our parish in no time. It was as if I had been here for a long time. But I still remain open to go wherever he calls me.

As a graphic designer, I’ve had the good fortune to work on many significant projects. Kairos Media’s logo was the most recent. I’ve also been able to assist in the creation of Jesus Youth monthly reflection artwork, design of the JY website, promotional materials for JY formation, website for Catholic Spouse, the masterplan logo, and the user interface design for the new formation app among many others. I have worked with Shalom World USA, to create their logo, website, mobile app, programme titles, scripts, and brochures. One work I’m particularly grateful for is the logo created for the Kerala State Electricity Board. I get to see it everywhere I go in Kerala. And every time I see it, I’m reaffirmed by God that I’m significant and wanted.

Launching catholic.cafe, a website where anyone could post questions related to faith and morals and get a Catholic response has turned out to be a blessing. Almost 200 questions have already been answered, with more on the way. The questions and answers are organised into various topics for easy searching. The contributors are members from our movement who take time off from their regular work. I am grateful for their generosity and commitment.

I’m blessed to be a part of Project Lily, a new initiative by the movement to promote, educate, and assist young people in leading pure and chaste lives through webinars, social media posts, and the development of necessary tools and programmes. I have also been writing a few of my thoughts and reflections in the personal blog: myarticulateheart.com.

Being a part of the international formation team is a true blessing as well as a huge responsibility, and it is one of the things that keeps me grounded and accountable.

Were it not for God choosing not to give up on me, I would have been lost in the lures of the world. He looked upon me with tender mercy. He hid me beneath his wings, day and night. Lord, all I ever need is you.

^{1, 2} Mangalore and Bangalore are cities in the Southern Indian state of Karnataka.

^3, Muringoor, a place in Kerala, South India is where the Divine Retreat Centre is located.

^{4, 6} Trivandrum and Cochin are cities in Kerala.

⁵ MG Road is a commercial hub in Bangalore.

Kairos Media Logo (Box Item)

(Please place the orange logo)

Creating logos for Catholic ministries is a rare honour. The Kairos Media logo was no exception. I’m not one of those designers who plan everything in advance. I trust God and let the design evolve. Best of my works are blessed coincidences. When I respond to inspiration, I hit upon beauty and purpose. And I grab it and give it the necessary shape and order.

It was fascinating to witness the new Kairos logo evolve. Owing to the brand's mission and nature, it deserved a logo which was elegantly flowy, seriously casual, and youthfully mature. As we iterated and fine-tuned, it all came together like a solved puzzle. The letters of the word ‘Kairos’ flow as if against the undercurrents of the dominant culture. The vibrant orange time dial announces the opportune time, the time to change, bloom and excel accepting Christ. The arrow pointing to the centre of the dial draws the viewer to the One who is timeless and from whom all things emanate. The arrow also functions as a ‘play’ button, inviting viewers to the media content put out by Kairos. The radial circles expanding from the centre of the dial shows how the message will be spread to the margins of the world where people await the Good News.

A designer, Jacob Jose has been involved in the JY movement for over 2 decades. He is part of the international formation team and elder to Project Lily, a chastity initiative. He runs catholic.cafe, a website answering questions on faith and morals. He also blogs at myarticulateheart.com.