BETTER TOGETHER | KAIROS GLOBAL | SEPTEMBER 2026

Author: Alina Ann Mathew

Audio

Intro: Love is learning to move with one heart, writes Alina Ann Mathew.

In the midst of differences, love still endures. The sacrament of marriage unites two imperfect hearts to bear fruit through grace. My grace is sufficient for you (2 Corinthians 12:9). By grace alone we have survived – and by grace we continue to love. 

When I look back at our journey, I am proud of how far we have come: how we continue to choose each other every day, how we fight for and defend our family and our love, and how we keep growing together – all through His grace alone. 

I was a creative, easygoing girl who loved adding charm to everything, yet rarely finished what I started. I enjoyed relaxing, socialising, and finding joy in little moments. I may have looked lazy, but have always managed to complete things at the last minute — a habit that endlessly confused my husband. 

He, on the other hand, is firmly rooted in routines and plans. His stubborn commitment to discipline often feels like torture to me, just as my free-flowing nature tests his patience. Our differences have not always been easy to live with. They challenged our expectations and stretched our understanding of love. 

Before marriage, I believed that two people plainly ‘add up’ – that strengths cancel out weaknesses. But marriage does not work by simple addition. Two lives do not neatly fit together like connecting jigsaw pieces. When two imperfect people unite, their differences do not disappear; they become more visible in everyday life. 

Very soon we learned that what looked beautiful on paper was not easy to practise. It was not humanly possible to remain patient, gentle, and faithful every day by sheer effort. We fought, and we made up. We struggled, and we managed. We cried, and we overcame. We stumbled, and we rose. We fell, and we stood again – all through His grace alone. 

At times, our journey may sound like one marked only by struggle and sacrifice. But that is not the whole truth. What began with effort slowly unfolded into tenderness as we learned to trust the power of the sacrament. Love did not disappear in difficulty; it deepened. Romance did not fade; it matured into something quieter and stronger. 

The vow we made – from this day until death – was never meant to be a life sentence. It is a gift, a blessing, and a sacred bond that completes rather than confines. What once felt demanding slowly revealed itself as grace in disguise. 

Love is indeed a decision, but it is also deeply felt. We dare to expose our vulnerabilities because we know that, in the end, we will still be loved. Grace is sufficient – yet grace does not remain static. It grows with us. Over time, it shapes us into an inseparable relationship, forming us into one body, learning to move with one heart.

This reflection is not meant to judge those who face real adversities and painful challenges in marriage. Every marriage carries its own crosses. Struggle and sacrifice, in some form, are part of the journey by default. What differs is how grace is allowed to work within them. 

Marriage flourishes not when partners are identical, but when they carry different charisms. Raising a family requires many gifts and many viewpoints. Children need both discipline and delight, order as well as colour, structure as well as celebration. These come naturally only when two different individuals bring their unique strengths into one shared life. Along the way, we learned something equally important: each partner begins to admire and respect the strengths of the other. What once felt irritating slowly becomes essential. His discipline holds our family steady; my spontaneity brings warmth and colour to our home. This mutual admiration does more than balance us, it grows into love. Respect deepens affection, and gratitude strengthens commitment. 

Somewhere along the way, we found our own quiet motto: If not me, who will empathise? In moments of conflict, this thought pulls us back from pride to compassion. It reminds us that marriage is not about winning arguments but about choosing understanding – even when it is uncomfortable. 

Together we lived, laughed, became parents to our three children, worked hard, travelled, learned, and built our family life from scratch. We learned skills no book taught us: how to forgive quickly, how to stay when walking away feels easier, how to protect love in small daily ways. We celebrated victories and survived storms. We learned that love is not only a feeling but a decision, renewed every morning. 

Looking back, I see that our story is not one of flawless harmony but faithful endurance. It is not the absence of struggle that defines us, but the presence of grace within it. By grace alone we have survived, and by grace we continue to love. 

It has always been true for us: we are better together, not because we are strong, but because God is faithful. Marriage, lived as a sacrament, becomes a quiet miracle – two imperfect hearts learning to bear fruit through divine grace. 

And so, on this journey, we remain thankful: for the fights that taught us humility, for the tears that taught us trust, and for the love that continues to grow, not by human strength, but by heavenly help. 

A workplace wellbeing specialist and organisational psychologist who works as a trainer and speaker, Alina Ann Mathew is deeply committed to learning, development, and supporting young people. She is the wife of Minsu and mother to Mariam, Joseph, and Matthew.