ASK FR BITAJU | KAIROS GLOBAL | JANUARY 2023

Author: Fr Bitaju Mathew

Q58. If the sole purpose of sex is procreation, and anything outside that scope sinful, then why would God create us with an overabundance of nerve endings in our reproductive organs making sex extremely pleasurable?

The sexual act is extremely pleasurable, yet pleasure is not its ultimate purpose just as pleasure is not the ultimate purpose of eating. Eating is pleasurable, but it is not merely for pleasure.  In other words, pleasure is subordinate to the intrinsic purpose of eating, namely nourishment of the human body.  In the same line of reasoning, we see that sexual pleasure is subordinate to the goal of human sexual act, namely bonding in love (unitive purpose) and procreation (CCC 2366). The Sacred Scripture makes clear the purpose of the sexual act when it says, Man shall leave his father and mother and shall be united to his wife and they shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:4-5). Therefore, the primary purpose of a sexual act according to God is ‘union’ of the spouses. Again, Genesis continues to state that, God blessed them and said to them be fruitful and multiply (1:28) – the ‘procreative’ significance of the sexual act. So, the purpose of sex is both union and procreation, in other words, bonding and babies.  

Taste is a reward and an encouragement, so that we sufficiently nourish our bodies and sustain our lives. If one chooses to eat anything and everything because it is pleasurable, he/she will easily become unhealthy and fall sick. Healthy eating requires moderation and strict adherence to the rule of healthy eating habits. If it is so, how much more we should discern, moderate and adhere to the rules to ensure our capacity for sex achieves its original (inherent) purpose? These rules and laws are there not to deprive us of pleasure but to liberate us to experience the pleasure in its fullness. The pleasure in conjugal union is meant to give us a tiny peak into the ecstasy that awaits us in heaven. 

Who gives these rules and how do we know them? God gives his children the rules and we know them from the Scriptures and from the teachings of the Church. Just as a company that manufactures a product includes an instruction manual that warns us if we do not adhere to the rules, the product will stop functioning. 

Yes, an overabundance of nerve endings in our reproductive organs makes sex extremely pleasurable. God, the Creator, designed our human body in such a way that the inherent purpose of sexual act (union and procreation) will be upheld by his children at all times. Realising this truth St Thomas Aquinas wrote: ‘As often as husband and wife enter into the sexual embrace in a state of grace, they are growing in grace and in glory.’ Remember that we are created with the capacity for reason and will, whereby we are able to make intelligent free choices in accordance with God’s commands, so that we can continue to enjoy life (Deuteronomy 30: 19). This would mean that the sexual act must be between a man and a woman, within the sacramental confines of marriage and the couple shall not intentionally contracept the possibility of life but be totally open to it all the time. 

YOUCAT 417 

What significance does the sexual encounter have within marriage? 

According to God’s will, husband and wife should encounter each other in bodily union so as to be united ever more deeply with one another in love and to allow children to proceed from their love. [2362-2367] 

In Christianity, the body, pleasure, and erotic joy enjoy a high status: ‘Christianity . . . believes that matter is good, that God Himself once took on a human body; that some kind of body is going to be given to us even in Heaven and is going to be an essential part of our happiness, our beauty and our energy. Christianity has glorified marriage more than any other religion: and nearly all the greatest love poetry in the world has been produced by Christians. If anyone says that sex, in itself, is bad, Christianity contradicts him at once’ (C. S. Lewis). Pleasure, of course, is not an end in itself. When the pleasure of a couple becomes self-enclosed and is not open to the new life that could result from it, it no longer corresponds to the nature of love.

Fr. Bitaju Mathew, O.SS.T. belongs to the Order of the Most Holy Trinity and of the Captives (The Trinitarians).  He serves as the Director of Formation for students of Philosophy and Theology of their order at Bangalore and is currently the Chaplain of the Jesus Youth International Formation Team.