VICTORIOUS OVER THE DARKNESS OF UNCERTAINTY \ KAIROS GLOBAL | MARCH 2021

Author: Biju Joseph

Intro: Biju Joseph tells us of a phase in his  life when a protracted legal battle and the accompanying years of uncertainty were brought to an end.

My desire for a personal God experience began in May 1991, when I was waiting for the result of my Pre-Degree examination (high school/further education equivalent). The desire arose as a result of the realisation that my marks would not be good enough, though I joined Pre-Degree in Kasargod¹ Government College with good marks after my 10th standard. I also felt that my academic journey was likely to come to an end without divine intervention. I was mentally prepared to attend a retreat due to the above reason and I was informed and invited to a Jesus Youth programme, ‘Athmeeyothsav’ (Spiritual Fest), organised by Jesus Youth, Kasargod zone. During the programme, I was in the midst of young people who were praising God with raised hands, so loudly. Though I was reluctant to praise in a loud voice, I was carried away by the energetic praises of people around me.

 Prior to this, I had always felt that I did not have any commendable abilities or skills and I had an inferiority complex. During the time of inner healing adoration, I could experience consolation, liberation and healing. I felt a conviction that I was blessed with many talents. I could experience the living presence of the Lord. Another thing that impressed me was the service mentality, enthusiasm and prayerfulness of the young people who organised the programme. I saw graduates and postgraduates washing the plates, working in the kitchen, interceding for the participants and interacting joyfully with each other without any hesitation. I too had a desire to be with them. Immediately after the programme, I began to attend the parish prayer meeting regularly. 

I had promised the Lord that I would do my best to start a prayer group in the government college I hoped to get admission to. My prayer was answered and I joined the same college for my graduation also. The Lord helped me to fulfil my promise and the first prayer group of Kasargod Government College was started in the year 1992. I got a chance to attend a training programme conducted for the campus leaders of the zone and that was my stepping stone to the Jesus Youth movement. The training gave me an opportunity to be in the fellowship of around thirty committed Jesus Youth from various campuses. It was a great blessing that ten out of the thirty took full-time commitment in various batches and are still very active in the movement in different parts of the world. I became the Campus Coordinator of the zone in 1992 and a member of the Zonal Youth Service Team in 1993. After my graduation, I decided to set apart one year for the Lord and became a full-time volunteer in the third batch in 1994-95. The period of full-time commitment gave me a lot of convictions and insights. To illustrate an example, after the training I was placed in Thrissur² zone which was difficult for me to accept since I was mentally prepared to come back to Kasargod. Simultaneously, there was resistance from my home zone against my going to Thrissur due to my active involvement in the Kasargod zone. After sitting before the Lord, I had the conviction that my placement in Thrissur was God’s plan and that I was expected to abide by that. That conviction gave me great relief and now when I look back, I understand that the one year I spent in Thrissur was very useful in moulding me as a disciple. The hours spent before the Blessed Sacrament in the Perpetual Adoration Chapel of Our Lady of Dolours Basilica (Puthenpally) filled me with positive energy and made me grow in my intimacy and friendship with Jesus. 

After one year of formal full-time commitment, I continued two more years of commitment and was engaged in the training and the follow-up of next batches of full-time volunteers. I was elected to two consecutive Kerala Youth Central Teams (KYCT) coordinated by Mr. Manoj Sunny and Mr. Berly Earnest. In 1997, I joined post-graduation in Business Administration in Dindigul, Tamilnadu³.  During my involvement with the Jesus Youth Movement, the Lord blessed me with various opportunities to identify the skills and talents he had bestowed upon me. Eventually, I could identify my communication skill and I chose teaching as my career after MBA though it was not as lucrative as corporate offers. I was the first person from my institution to appear for the National Eligibility Test (NET), a qualification essential for higher education faculty aspirants in India. The Lord blessed me with this qualification at my first attempt without any coaching, as a reward for the time I spent for various responsibilities in Jesus Youth. While fulfilling my role as the General Coordinator of the eighth batch full-time volunteers’ training, I got news about my NET qualification. By his grace, I became a NET holder even before my MBA results were declared by the University. Another miraculous coincidence happened when St. Pius X College Rajapuram, an aided college run by the Kottayam⁴ diocese around 15 kilometers away from my house, began the BBA course in 1999. In 2000, I joined the college as a guest lecturer as the permanent appointment had been delayed due to government sanctions. In 2004, I got my first permanent appointment to Marian College Kuttikkanam, Idukki⁵ and after a few months I returned to Rajapuram to occupy a permanent vacancy. 

Contrary to my expectation, the approval of my appointment was not sanctioned by the authorities and I had to work for around 7 years without any salary. We had to undertake a long legal battle of eleven years against the University and Government till the Supreme Court of India and finally the Lord made us victorious. In 2004, I got married, and living without a salary was a real struggle. But when one door was closed, the Lord opened another door before us. My wife got a permanent appointment in the Government sector through the Kerala Public Service Commission soon after our marriage. 

I had to wait patiently for years in the darkness of uncertainty without any positive signal, but finally, the path was made visible and clear. It was the same experience, in my case of service and salary also. Our case was pending in Supreme Court of India for five years and during the last six months of final hearing, I had to accompany my advocate to Delhi⁶, coordinate the efforts to raise around two million rupees, and each time after appearing in court, the state government kept requesting the postponement of verdict to another date. Facing queries from relatives and neighbours for years was humiliating. Gradually I began to lose my confidence due to endless hearing and deterioration in our financial position. 

Finally, on 15th January 2015, when we entered the court, we came to know that our case might not be taken up for hearing. It happened that prior to our case a batch case dealing with the 1992 Harshad Mehta stock scam was listed and the famous lawyer Ram Jethmalani was present in the court to appear for this case. Ram Jethmalani intimated our advocate that he would probably take the entire day and it was possible that no other cases would get time. I was really upset and I asked the Lord, ‘Why this?’ I firmly believe that the Lord intervened, for Jethmalani permitted the mention of our case in the court. With his consent, the Supreme Court heard and disposed of the case in favour of us within fifteen minutes. A positive outcome when all hope seemed lost after a long period of uncertainty. 

I do admit that there were instances when I fought with the Lord over my issues. Sometimes I had a feeling that the Lord was a silent spectator who did not sense any of our problems. But deep down in my heart, we had the conviction that whatever happened to us was with his knowledge and consent and that understanding was a consolation. Though I am blessed, I had to undergo struggles in the form of medical emergencies, financial difficulties, uncertainties and challenges as any other individual. During a period of 15 years, my family members, including myself, had to undergo ten episodes of hospitalisation, averaging one week each. The procedures carried out ranged from caesarean to open heart surgery. But none of that shattered me. When I face challenges, I see in my mind that the Lord is asleep (Mark 4:38) in the stern of my lifeboat. I only need to wake him up. Nothing will happen to me without his knowledge and consent.

A third batch full-timer, Biju Joseph is the Vice Principal and Head of Management Studies at St. Pius X College Rajapuram, Kasargod, India. His wife is Kochurani and they have three children.