THE LANGUAGE OF THE BODY | KAIROS GLOBAL | MAY 2023

Author: Nicholas Koeppel

Intro: Nicholas Koeppel discusses the second part of Theology of the Body on the sacrament of marriage.

In this article, I would like to discuss part two of the Theology of the Body by St John Paul II, this time on the topic of ‘the Sacrament of Marriage’. Marriage is one of the seven sacraments of the Catholic Church. What does this mean? We will discuss this and more in the following article. In the past 4 articles we first discussed the earlier chapters of Theology of the Body on the topic of God’s original plan for man and woman (Ch 1), our fall into sin and redemption by Christ in human history (Ch 2), and our eschatological hope of heaven in the resurrection of the body (Ch 3). This laid an appropriate foundation, ‘an adequate anthropology’, which then enables us to understand the human vocation to love. First we must know ‘who we are’, and from that we can know how to live our mission. In Christian life there are two primary ways of life that one can choose to follow as one’s vocation: celibacy and marriage. In the last article we discussed ‘celibacy for the kingdom of heaven’. So now we are ready to discuss the sacrament of marriage as another way someone can choose to live out the vocation to love.

In this part of Theology of the Body, St John Paul II begins by looking at a famous passage from Ephesians 5.21-33. In this Scripture, which I encourage you to read, we hear many beautiful truths about the relationship between husband and wife, and also the relationship between Christ and the Church. The verses begin by speaking about the relationship between husband and wife – the two are called to be submissive to one another out of reverence for Christ. Because they are Christian, a husband and wife should seek to serve one another, to seek the good of each other, in imitation of Christ who came to serve and not to be served (Matthew 20:28). John Paul II teaches that true love does not include a one sided submission and domination of one spouse to the other (TOB 89.4). When a husband and wife truly love each other, they will seek to be submissive to one another, for the good of their marriage and family.

These verses of Scripture also tell us about Christ and his relationship to His Bride, the Church. Christ died on the cross for the sake of his bride. He did this out of love in order to present the Church before himself all beautiful, without spot or wrinkle (Ephesians 5:27). Christ died on the cross, and rose from the dead, in order to make us holy. Holiness is true beauty. Ephesians mentions that Christ washes his bride with ‘water and the word’ and these verses also speak about the nourishment of the body. Here we can see a reference to Baptism and the Eucharist, two sacraments in the Catholic Church that bring about holiness and the union with Christ.

The key point from these verses of Ephesians comes at the end when St Paul compares the relationship of husband and wife to the relationship of Christ and the Church. The relationship between husband and wife becomes an icon, or an image, of Christ’s love for the Church. Both of these relationships reveal things to one another. Husband and wife learn how to love better by looking at the example of Christ who gave himself totally. Likeness, we can better understand the relationship between Christ and his Church when we look at the icon of married love - its fidelity, its fruitfulness, its intimacy, etc. In this way, marriage reveals the love of God.

In fact, St John Paul II teaches that marriage has been doing this since the beginning of creation and so he calls marriage a ‘primordial sacrament’. Since the beginning of creation, when God created marriage and sexuality, he stamped into it a sign of the love of God. Already from the start, the marriage of Adam and Eve revealed that God is love and has faithful love towards humanity. This truth was fully revealed and accomplished in Christ, but marriage from the beginning was already a sign and revelation of this mystery hidden in God.

This leads us to consider another point about what it means to call something a ‘sacrament’. John Paul II teaches that a sacrament is intimately tied to the ‘body’. Every sacrament has some physical element to it, some ‘body’ that reveals the invisible. A sacrament is something visible that reveals the invisible mystery of God and makes that invisible reality present to us, and imparts grace. All the seven sacraments of the Church do this, including marriage. But John Paul II, in Theology of the Body, uses the term ‘sacrament’ in a wider and more general way. Thus he calls marriage a ‘primordial sacrament’. And Vatican II speaks of the ‘sacramentality of the Church’ in this more broad sense of the term as something visible that reveals the invisible, makes it present, and imparts grace.

The next chapter of TOB continues on the topic of marriage, but in a slightly different dimension. John Paul II looks at the wedding vows of the couple, and how this is lived out through the body in their marriage. In their wedding vows on the day of their wedding, a couple promises a love that is free, total, faithful, and fruitful. They promise to stay together no matter what happens, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, until death parts them. This vow they make with their lips in the presence of the Church and society on the day of their wedding, during the wedding liturgy, is then expressed truly through the body on their wedding night –  this is the ‘consummation’ of their marriage. John Paul II calls this the ‘language of the body’. Every time a married couple comes together in the ‘one flesh union’, the conjugal act, they are speaking the same words they spoke on their wedding day, and renewing this vow. They are promised again a love that is free, total, faithful, and fruitful.

A couple is called to speak the language of the body in the truth. In fact, just as it is possible to tell a lie with the words of our mouth, it is also possible to lie with the body. Every bodily action has meaning, a personal meaning because of the intimate connection and unity of body and soul in the human person. Holding hands, a kiss, a thumbs up, a punch in the face, a hug, sex – all of these bodily actions ‘speak’ something to another. We are called to speak the truth of God both with our words and through the language of the body. Because in sex, the body ‘speaks’ a total gift of self, exclusively and for the entire life, this language is only spoken truly within the context of marriage, when such a gift of self for the entirety of one’s life has already truly been made. This is why a couple must save sex for marriage, so that they will speak the language of the body in the truth. When a couple has love for one another, this love and their union of person is ‘invisible’ and they seek ways to express this invisible love visibly through the language of their bodies.

In the following sections of the Theology of the Body, St. John Paul II goes on to show some biblical examples of couples speaking the language of the body in the truth: the Song of Songs and the Book of Tobit. First, I will discuss what John Paul II reflects on in the Song of Songs. The first book of the Bible, Genesis, opens with a human marriage. The last book of the

Bible, Revelation, ends with the eternal marriage of the Lamb. This short book, The Song of Songs, is situated right in the middle of the Bible and also speaks about love in marriage. In this book, we hear a loving duet between husband and wife. The Song includes descriptions of eros and human language that describes the beauty of the other using imagery taken from creation. John Paul II speaks about three aspects from the Song: Wonder, Sister, and Garden enclosed.

First, John Paul II notices that throughout the entirety of the Song of Songs, the voices of the bride and groom speak of amazement, wonder, and fascination of the other – focused on the visible gift of the masculine and feminine body. He says this same wonder and fascination was found in the book of Genesis when Adam awoke from his sleep and saw Eve for the first time. At last, bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh! (Genesis 2:23). This same wonder at seeing the woman, another body that expresses the person, is found throughout the entirety of the Song of Songs.

The second phrase in the Song that John Paul II focuses on is ‘sister’. The groom calls the woman ‘my sister, my bride’ several times throughout the Song of Songs. Why does he call her ‘sister’? What meaning does this term have in this context? ‘Sister’ means that the husband and wife share a common humanity. They have a common origin. They are created with an equal human dignity, but are also different in complementarity. The term ‘sister’ expresses the feminine difference from the masculine. By calling her sister, the woman can experience some peace in the relationship with the man, knowing that he will not use her as an object, but that he will treat her according to her human dignity and value, as a sister in humanity.

The other main phrase analysed in the Song of Songs is when the groom calls the bride ‘a garden enclosed, a fountain sealed’. John Paul II says that this phrase expresses the fact that a woman is always ‘the master of her own mystery’. A woman is like a beautiful garden, with all kinds of flowers and choice fruits in it, but this garden has a wall around it with one door that is locked from the inside, and the woman has the key. She can open her heart to whom she will. The human person is inviolable, has free will, and must choose and make decisions. A gentleman will never barge through the door of the garden, or climb over the fence, but will only knock and wait for the free choice of the woman to open to whom she will. In the Song of Songs we hear the bride’s response that she does desire to make this gift of self to the man.

Finally, John Paul II also discusses the love story of Tobias and Sarah in the Book of Tobit. In this story, we hear the difficult test that Tobias and Sarah go through, as they face the reality and possibility of death because of the danger from an evil that is threatening them. They became victorious in this struggle by being obedient to the angel Raphael who is guiding them, and because of their prayer. The angel advises them to pray. And so, on their wedding night, before the consummation of their wedding, the couple drops to their knees and prays – blessing God the Creator and asking for his mercy and blessing on them. Because of this prayer, love triumphs over evil – life wins. From this story, John Paul II makes the connection between conjugal/married life and the liturgy. He says that the union of the couple becomes prayer (TOB 115.4). The language of the body becomes the language of the liturgy. Conjugal life becomes liturgy (TOB 117b.6). We see the reality of this through the example of couples who have a crucifix of Jesus on the cross over their marriage bed. When a couple renews their marriage vows in the conjugal act, they become an image of Christ’s love for the Church, and actually participate and experience this love through their marriage. This love is redeeming and makes them grow in holiness. We also see connections between the marriage and the liturgy in such physical signs as the ‘baldacchino’ in some Catholic Churches. This canopy that covers the altar in a Church, resembles the canopy that covers marriage beds. The altar of sacrifice is like the marriage bed where Christ gives the total gift of his body to his Bride the Church, on the cross on Calvary.

The Theology of the Body is full of beautiful teaching about marriage, about celibacy, and about what it means to be human, as revealed in Sacred Scripture. The last article next month will be about the final chapter of TOB, when John Paul II discusses the conjugal and spiritual life of the couple who is called to love and to be open to life. He reflects on the beautiful teaching from Pope St Paul VI in the document Humanae Vitae and confirms and explains the Church’s teaching about contraception. The call to the vocation of marriage is a lofty one, that is only possible through the grace of God coming through the sacraments and prayer. With the help of God’s grace, a couple is strengthened to fulfil their responsibilities and duties, and to grow in holiness by maturing in love.