STOP THINK RESTART | KAIROS GLOBAL | AUGUST 2019

Author: Raifiel Cyril

Intro: Raifeil Cyril offers some words of wisdom on spending time in the virtual world through a meditation on the virtue of temperance.

Most of us are instinctively aware that the use of social media calls for restraint. Many of us experience this instinct by the pangs of guilt felt after some hours of meaningless scrolling. I’ve felt it too.

I think one of the hardest virtues to practice is temperance. It's easy to go full throttle either way i.e. complete abstinence or incessant use. Finding the middle ground of constructive use calls for maturity. I have taken the easy way out and it works for me. I am not on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram. The only social media app I use is Whatsapp and that too begrudgingly. I have quit only to return for practical reasons. However, regardless of my desire to quit, I do spend a lot of time on it these days. A lot of it totally non constructive. I hope to soon go back to checking messages once a day. When I was practicing this, I found that within a couple of minutes I would finish responding to what needed responding. During that time I realised how meaningless it all seemed. 

The real question is why must we show restraint? There’s no sin here! However I think the issue is that social media is filling up the little gaps and silences of our life that we are much in need of. Whatever breaks our work or rest affords us can be in danger of being swallowed up by this quiet beast. An increasing amount of our ‘now’ is spent looking at the screen. Unlike face to face human interactions, these are not necessarily leading to deepened friendships or intimacy or even a meaningful sharing of ideas. While it may be our human desire to connect that leads us there, chances are that we are slowly disconnecting from the most important ones, those who are around us. And one of those more important than our family is the Lord Himself. Thanks to social media there is more and more talk about Him, and less talk with Him, less looking at Him, less listening to Him. From the time we wake to the time we sleep we are left with not a single vacant moment. Our lives are terribly, incredibly busy regardless of how busy we may actually be. No wonder mindfulness is such a rage and a great discovery now. We now need to learn to focus on the present. Not surprisingly this can have massive impacts on our mental health - thus meaning that somehow this lack of focus on the here and now is unsettling us.

While my generation has had a time without social media and so knows the difference, and can feel the pangs of guilt. However, the next generations have grown up with it. They are unlikely to even notice the difference.

Human beings thrive on meaningful activity. When we spend more and more time in activities that lack meaning or value, we start depleting. It is almost like a plant that has to do without sunlight and rain, which slowly withers. Being formed in God’s image, we are created for greatness (not to be confused with fame). And naturally therefore, staring at a screen and scrolling through people’s lives and their opinions does not live up to the purpose set out for us. More so it distracts us from our purpose and slowly chews away at time that would have otherwise been spent on reflection, growth, connection or even recreation. 

Sometimes, we may also use social media to distract ourselves from the painful reality of our lives. Whether it be broken heart, low self esteem, anxiety, depression, a grief or loss – it is good to distract our minds from these. However a continuous attempt to do so can make the wounds fester and infect.

Social media can be used by the enemy to make sure we remain stagnant. In itself there may be nothing wrong in it and a judicious use is constructive, but if it’s taking up all of your spare time, give it up, make changes, do what you can to get your life back.

Frankly I do not think it is possible to grow in faith and holiness and be spending large portions of our time on these apps. We can still ‘do’ lots of things but our time on these apps will slowly and surely harden our heart to God and His still gentle voice.

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Col 3:1-4

Raifiel Cyril is a writer, counsellor, national council member of JY Australia and part of the Kairos Global Editorial Council. She lives with her husband, Cyril Abraham in Canberra, Australia.