ROUTE CORRECTION IN LIFE | KAIROS GLOBAL | AUGUST 2022

Author: Livin Varghese

Intro: Livin Varghese thinks back upon the various instances and events through which God was leading him to his destined path.

Let me start with my story. This was back in 2003, I was writing my final board exams and was just recovering from the setback of failing eleven subjects during the preparatory exams, in which I scored just an average of 27%. The task at hand was a very simple pass for all the eleven subjects, to get the minimum 40% marks to attend university or repeat a year. My parents, being religious, made all possible offerings to Jesus and Mary to make me pass (sort of like a bribe) because they knew I could not crack this exam and that only God could save me. Fast-forward to today and I am head of HR of an SMB IT service company based out of the US and India. Am I setting the world on fire? Probably not yet, there is a long way to go! But how did I even reach here in the first place?

When I was studying the Word of God, the verse from Isaiah 43:4 (Because you are precious in my eyes and honoured, and I love you, I give people in return for you and nations in exchange for your life) made me wonder how God could do ‘anything for me’ when I was struggling to find my purpose. This made me believe that there was something in me, and in each one of us that makes God give anything in exchange to win us back. But the problem was me – I thought I wasn’t good enough. Where did that feeling come from? Since childhood, I was compared to everyone around me, I felt I would never rise up to meet my parents’ expectations and would never reach anywhere close to what they wanted me to achieve. 

Being in a pit of rejection and not accepted for who I was led me to low levels of self-confidence. But God still kept reminding me how precious I was… Somehow I could never bring myself to feel that until God brought me through an experience. During one of my ‘personal time with God,’ he asked me, ‘Livin, why is gold so precious? Because it is rare. Why is diamond costlier than gold? Because it is more rare than gold. So if a stone or metal is worth so much because it is rare, how much more worth are you, my child, who is the most unique being in the whole world. No one who existed before, or will ever be is like you. You are more valuable to me than anything else in the world.’

This simple realisation brought me back on track but I kept asking God about the years I lost, where my efforts went lacking because of the belief that I was not good enough. Then the Lord spoke to me again through a Jesus Youth retreat I attended back in my campus days, through the words ‘We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose’ (Romans 8:28). When I asked God for an example to understand how things could be reversed, he showed me a Google map and said, ‘If you know your destination then even if you take a wrong route, the map will redirect you to the destination with an alternative route but you must be clear of your destination.’ This simple yet powerful example brought a breakthrough in my life and influenced the kind of courses I took in university, and the career I am in right now. Yes, my destination is to be with my Father in heaven, everything else in this world is simply meant to achieve this. 

But where do I start now? Matthew 25:14–30 talks about the parable of the talents, something I probably must have heard a thousand times. Yet, it never dawned on me that I needed to go back to my maker who gave me my talents. My mind had been clouded by what the world was drumming into me – that to be successful, I had to be famous.  So, to get attention, I ended up doing a lot of crazy things, influenced by popular culture. I thought I was actually using my talent to build my career and life instead all that I was doing was living someone else’s dream. 

It was at this time that, persuaded by many Jesus Youth elders, I decided to have eldering in my life. Till that time, I was not ready to be open about my life to anyone as I had projected a good image outside and never thought of showing the side I struggled with. But the day I submitted to an elder, the Lord started to work in my life and began to show me areas I had not explored before. He brought a beautiful cell group into my life, where the members knew what my true abilities were. Even then, I was not really able to live the way God wanted me to because I was struggling with a particular sin that was holding me back, the guilt of which was killing me. But when a senior in college challenged me to go for regular Mass, it eventually helped me overcome this sin too. 

Later in my corporate life, I was selected by my company and sent to the Gallup institute for leadership training. There I realised that I was not working on my strengths, was struggling at my work and not happy in what I was doing. I opened up about this situation to my wife and this area where I struggled. I had been working in an operations role in the organisation but my strength was in human relations and networking. But I was not ready to make the shift as it was a completely new domain and felt I would lose many years in doing something I was not sure would bring success. But with the help of a priest who was guiding my wife and I, and after a lot of prayer, I decided to resign my job and start something on my own. That was when Covid hit and all plans came to a standstill. 

I began to question myself if I had made the right decision. And also filled my time with a lot of odd things to survive; in the process one day, I made a call to a known person in the industry for business advice. He immediately asked me to join him full-time to lead human relations because he knew I was in the Jesus Youth movement and liked the way we go about building and treating each other (by the way he is not a Christian). We knew this was God’s providence. 

As I end this article, I am reminded about a quote from St. Catherine of Siena. ‘If you are what you should be, you will set the whole world on fire!’