Jesus Youth ( April 2026 )

Jesus Youth

Title: Talk can build a group, but kill it too

Article

‘How goes your small-group?’ I asked Mary. Recently, Jesus Youth in their region was focused on strengthening existing groups and starting new ones. ‘I am not sure if I should be happy or upset,’ she said, and began expanding on the joys and challenges of building communities.

Young people and families eagerly look for a place to meaningfully belong, openly share, and grow together with others. It is like exercising with friends, you persevere – and enjoy it too. Here, people come to grow together and the efforts bear fruit. Groups are growing in depth as well as in number. But there are subtle challenges too, and they are mostly about how people share and interact in these groups.

Sharing in a Group is Simple yet Challenging

When most people initially come to a group, they find it difficult to open up and share. Many are not used to it, not even at home. They are used to listening to or giving advice. For some, talking is merely polite greeting. But to open up in a group, one must grow accustomed to it. Most people have not had real friends with whom to speak about their experiences or yearnings. Thus, many don’t want to talk in a group.

And, when they start talking, many take the easy route and discuss politics or church gossip. Someone mentioned, ‘During the elections, our group almost broke up. Arguments went on endlessly, though only a few were really interested. We didn’t know how to stop it.’ In a similar vein, there can be critical evaluations of what is happening in the parish or diocese – engrossing and interesting, but this is often gossip in a new garb, in which one’s true inner self need not be opened or shared.

Discussing their group, Jancy from another region raised a major issue. ‘In our group, once a couple of people start sharing, they cannot easily stop. They go on talking, jumping from one memory to another. Everyone loses interest, and some even get up and go out on the pretext of water breaks. But they don’t realise or put an end to their rambling.’ If one or two people take up most of the available time, it can be frustrating for everyone else. Of course, if someone is going through a crisis, we would give that person more time. But if one person consistently takes up most of the group’s time, that would be unkind and unjust.

Then there are the activity enthusiasts. The very purpose of a small-group is for people to open up and share about their interior life, but a group can easily be distracted into something else. Some fill up time with singing; some drift into activity planning; long prayer times can eat into sharing time; and if food arrangements or even a game takes up much of the gathering, the purpose of the group can be defeated.

Conversation is the lifeblood of any group, be it family, a circle of friends, or a Church community. If that conversation helps everyone come to know one another better and builds them up in love that is a helpful step. But if our journey is not towards love, that chat will be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal (1 Corinthians 13:1).

Group Sharing is a Synodal Journey

With Pope Francis came talk about synodality, which means journeying together, and is apt for small-group sharing. This journey begins with conversion – a change of attitude: from my journey to our journey, and an openness to the Lord’s presence along the way. This change of attitude makes all the difference. More important still is that the group is on a journey in which the growth of each person – and of the whole – truly matters.

I have heard many young people speak about how their JY small-group prepared them for their future family, career, and mission. Those in family small-groups speak of how it equips them for the fast-changing challenges of family life. This is the fruit of a little community journeying together.

How Should We Talk in a Community?

The Epistle of James speaks of the power of speech and the danger it can bring about. With our mouths we can communicate great things and also do much damage (James 3:5), so we need to be watchful. Speech full of love builds; careless talk harms much. The question is: what kind of talk truly builds?

Be vulnerable: It is about setting aside masks and being ready to share one’s struggles with others. Very often, if people are courageous enough to do this, others will follow.

Have a sense of belonging: When a person realises the group is his own and begins to consider everyone as part of their journey, a big change occurs.

Learn to accept differences and forgive: Most groups have an initial honeymoon period, followed by a time of conflict. Leaving the group or breaking it up can seem like a quick way out, but the right path is the harder path of acceptance and forgiveness.

Balance feeling and thought: Should a group always talk about experiences and subjective perceptions? Intellectual discussions and study also have a place, but there needs to be balance.

Respect the moderator, or be one: When a few people are gathered, there is often a need for someone to ensure things stay on track and to intervene when necessary. When the need arises, anyone in the group should be ready to step up and help moderate.

Be simple, humble, and ordinary: An organic and natural pace is important for a good group. This allows everyone to be their natural self, without masks, yet with due respect for one another. Being joyful and even playfully positive is part of this.

The Kingdom dimension: Jesus Youth, being a missionary movement, naturally participates in that call. Being Christ-centred – motivating, encouraging, and equipping each person for Christian mission – becomes the purpose of every small group.

A Building Block for the New World

Some JY friends once took me to meet Fr Eduardo, a Hispanic priest, to introduce him to the movement. After listening to us, he asked a very pertinent question: while many similar groups focus on organising retreats and training, why does Jesus Youth concern itself so much with effective group-building and participation?

I wanted to tell him: the vision behind this focus on building relationships and groups has to do with Jesus’ dream of building a culture of love, one that will lead to joyful families and a wholesome world. Pope Francis’ words on the synodal Church are quite relevant here too: ‘Our gaze also extends to humanity as a whole… As a Church which “journeys together” with men and women, sharing the travails of history, let us cherish the dream that a rediscovery of the inviolable dignity of peoples and of the function of authority as service will also be able to help civil society to be built up in justice and fraternity, and thus bring about a more beautiful and humane world for coming generations.’