ASK FR. BITAJU | KAIROS GLOBAL | JANUARY 2019

Author: Fr. Bitaju

Q. Why can’t priests marry? Doesn’t God want them to use their sexuality? 

Diana Sony, Brisbane, Australia

Clerical celibacy is considered a discipline rather than a doctrine. In the Eastern Catholic Churches, it is common for married men to be ordained to Priesthood. There are a few priests who are married in the Latin rite too, those converted from other denominations like the Anglicans. In neither the Latin rite nor the Eastern rites do those in Holy Orders marry after they have been ordained, except in extraordinary circumstances. 

There are both theological and canonical reasons for those in Holy Orders not marrying. Theologically, as priests serve in the place of Christ, their ministry specially configures them to Christ. Christ was not married to one particular woman because he came to ‘marry’ the whole human race – the Church, his eternal Bride. Ordained priests become a sacrament of Christ. They make the love of the heavenly Bridegroom efficaciously present to the Church, particularly in the sacrifice of the Eucharist. Acting in the person of Christ, priests also “marry” the Church. Their celibacy also reflects the eschatological state of our life as referred by Christ himself (Mt 22:23-30). According to St. Paul, remaining celibate allows one’s attention to be undivided in serving the Lord (1 Cor. 7:32-35).

Canonically, priests can’t marry for the following reasons: priests who belong to religious orders take the vow of celibacy, while diocesan priests do not make vows, they do make a promise of celibacy. Further, according to Canon 1087, one of the impediments to a valid marriage is when ‘persons who are in holy orders invalidly attempt marriage’. This impediment remains as long as the priest has not been dispensed from it by the Holy See. 

Doesn’t God want them to use their sexuality?

St. John Paul II offers us a refreshing perspective on the meaning of sexuality and celibacy in his series of general audiences known as the "theology of the body" (TOB). If sex were something unclean and unholy, offering it as a gift to God in celibacy would be an act of sacrilege. But, since sex is one of the most precious treasures God has given humanity, making a gift of it back to God is one of the most genuine expressions of thanksgiving (eucharistia) for such a great gift. The person is receiving it from God's hands and living it as the expression of the marital covenant.

The celibate vocation is not a rejection of sexuality; nor are consecrated celibates meant to condemn themselves to a life of isolation from the complementary sex. If some approach it this way, according to St. John Paul II, they are not living in accord with Christ's words (TOB, April 28, 1982).

Physical sex is just one of the beautiful ways of expressing intimacy. Affective sexuality or intimacy is not given up in the vow/promise of celibacy. Celibates are encouraged to develop non-physical ways of being intimate. Conversation, writing, sharing of aesthetic, spiritual and intellectual interests, sharing of ministerial involvements, etc., can be ways of being together, of sharing intimately, which can reach the depths of one another. 

Men and women such as Francis and Clare of Assisi, John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila, and Francis de Sales and Jane de Chantal all had healthy, holy, intimate, and celibate relationships with one another. Yes, it's truly possible. And what a witness to freedom these saints are!