AN ATHLETE READY TO RACE | KAIROS GLOBAL | JUNE 2021

Author: Anil John, Singapore

I am a Cradle Catholic. Yet in my younger days, I understood neither the power nor the value of the sacrament of reconciliation, in its entirety. I was mostly underprepared for it, starting the preparation only a few minutes before the actual confession. Only during retreats would I put more effort and time for a thorough confession. And I believed that once a confession was made, the next one was needed only after a few months.

My spiritual life did not always go well. There were frequent ups and downs. When I consulted my spiritual elder, I was advised that the foundation of spiritual formation was regular confession. That convinced me and thereafter I started going for confession on a weekly basis. My wife accompanied me too. In the past, my list of sins for confession were almost the same, each time. Then, to my surprise, I noticed that I could remember those sins I had never confessed before. I never knew even minor things had to be confessed. There was a drastic change in my lifestyle. After each confession, I wasn’t sitting idle. I’d start my preparation for the next one. I became more vigilant and whenever I realised I had offended God, I would feel sorry about it and note it down on my phone. My reconciliation with God became part of my life and I was able to do that in a sincere way. Such preparations equip me to be ready for confession whenever I get a chance, even if it is the next moment.

Earlier, I believed my mission was the spiritual formation of those around me. Despite spending considerable time on this, the net result was always zero. I lacked a deeper conviction. But when regular preparation for and confession became a part of my life, I realised that I was a great sinner and needed the Lord’s mercy more than anything. As he proclaimed in Luke 5:32, Jesus loves the sinner not the sin, I have come to call not the righteous but sinners to repentance.

As we go through a pandemic crisis, regular confession has become challenging. We don’t know when the next opportunity for confession will come. So it is very important to be ready at all times – through daily preparation and noting down of offenses or sins committed. As for me, I do this before I attend Holy Mass and during my personal prayer. That empowers me to go for the sacrament of reconciliation whenever I get the chance.

There are too many arguments about the sacrament of reconciliation in the modern world, the most famous debate being, ‘Why should we confess to a priest? When only God can forgive, shouldn’t we confess our sins directly to him?’ As we read the Bible we see that Jesus loves and welcomes the sinner. He does understand their inner thoughts and their sincere repentance of sin. For their part, sinners cried out to Jesus, when they saw him, begging for his mercy. They were not worried about the crowds around them. When they humbled themselves before the Son of God, greater things happened to them. They received pardon for their sins. This is exactly what happens when we confess our sins to a priest, who is a mediator. Our sins are still forgiven by God alone.

 For me, there are two parts to a good confession. The first being the ‘preparation’ while the second is the ‘execution’. Consider an athlete before a race. What would happen if s/he ran the race without any or with very little preparation? To win, continuous practice is of utmost priority. Same goes for the sacrament of reconciliation. We know that ‘practice makes perfect’, so consistently putting effort into preparation is very important. It can be done during our personal prayer by going through our list of offences, which will allow us to pray for God’s mercy. Personally, this has helped reduce repeated sins from my life and some have never been repeated again. This in turn helps to avoid the situations that lead me to sin. Regardless of my difficulties or distress I still continue with my preparation by praying, ‘Have mercy on us, Son of David!’  (Matthew 9:27). His mercy keeps me going. I believe that God’s grace will be upon me when I repent sincerely because Jesus loves the sinner who repented. Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance (Luke 15:7).

As for me, I eagerly wait for the chance to make my confession in front of a priest, just like an athlete waiting to win a race. 

All Glory and Honour to God alone. Amen