A TRUSTING 'YES' | KAIROS GLOBAL | SEPTEMBER 2026

Author: Jilu Chengat

Audio

Intro: Jilu Chengat reflects on a period in her life when St Francis of Assisi helped with a conundrum.

The life of St Francis of Assisi has captivated many over the years. He lived courageously, with humility and trust in God’s providence. Like many, this example played a pivotal role in my life and journey with God. 

Though I had grown up with faith, there was a time towards the end of my undergraduate studies that I discovered Jesus in the Eucharist in a personal and profound way. That experience invited me to ask God, for the first time, what He desired for my life. This question encompassed everything – my identity, my vocation, my career – and it shifted my path. It prompted me to discern the full-timer programme, a year of missionary discipleship formation with Jesus Youth. Unfortunately, I met with a lot of resistance, especially from my father. To make matters more complicated, after my conversion, I had slowly been responding to God’s call to restore my relationship with my parents. Since I received the heavenly Father’s blessing before the Eucharist, I deeply desired my father's blessing. In light of this, after much discernment and despite ongoing resistance, I decided that God was asking me to stay home, grow in obedience, continue my studies, and be a missionary in the context of my family and home. 

Though I made this decision in faith, I struggled to hold my missionary desire close to my heart and to respond to this call to be a present, dutiful daughter. I wondered if I had made the wrong decision or lacked courage. I wrestled with what it meant to respect and honour my parents and God, especially when I felt pulled in opposing directions. There were continual questions: was listening to my earthly father the right thing to do? Was this the obedience that God wanted me to have? Why would God put desires in my heart that weren’t to be fulfilled?

The tension I carried finally reached a decisive moment a little more than a year later. I had committed to attend a Jesus Youth training programme, to which my father suddenly refused to let me go. I was heartbroken and confused, with both my dad and God!  As providence would have it, it was the feast of St Francis of Assisi. Reflecting on his life, I was struck by the reality that his decisions emerged not from complete clarity or understanding, but from small faithful steps that led to greater sacrifices and more profound yeses. He first interpreted Christ's command to ‘repair my house’ quite literally before gradually discovering that God was inviting him to participate in the renewal of the Church. He left his father’s house painfully, not as an act of running away or disobedience, but as a response to a greater calling and obedience to his heavenly Father. When I brought myself before the Lord and examined my conscience with St Francis' life, I knew that the Lord had been leading me to greater trust. I felt assured that an act of disobedience to my earthly father at this point would not be in rebellion, but a deeper surrender to my heavenly Father. In the end, after much prayer and discernment, with the intercession of St Francis, the patron saint of Jesus Youth, I decided that I would indeed go. I trusted that I had been obedient and listening to His voice in staying home, and that the time had now come to ‘leave home.’

I went to that gathering and was very much affirmed by the speakers. One particular speaker shared his life in a way that deeply resonated with my experiences.  I was relieved that I had made the right decision, but I had no idea how my situation at home would unfold, or if I would be allowed to remain at home. When I came back, I knew something had shifted. Although my dad wasn't happy with my decision, I believe he had come to see that God would be my priority and I would stand by my convictions to love both God and my family. In the years to come, while I lived at home, there was still resistance. It was only a decade later, when I served as National Coordinator for Jesus Youth, that my father would give a full blessing to the work I was called to do for the Lord through the movement. It was then that I could clearly see the fruits of obedience, first to God through my earthly father, and later directly to God. This allowed me to receive renewed graces from the Lord who had been leading me, inviting me to order my life, grounding me in truth, and deepening in me the conviction that He would always provide. 

Looking back, I understand a little more why the life of St Francis has inspired Christians for centuries. His witness reminds us that God rarely reveals the whole journey at once. He simply asks for the next faithful ‘yes,’ trusting that His providence will accomplish far more than we can imagine. Even to this day, I remember that experience as a significant turning point in my life. Though I had already been walking with the Lord, this deepened conversion provided a foundation for what would be the next chapter of my life. It opened me more fully to the missionary identity to which God was calling me and gave me the courage to say yes, slow and surely, with perseverance and hope! 

‘If you want your dream to be, build it slow and surely. Small beginnings, greater ends, heartfelt work grows purely. If you want to live life free, take your time, go slowly’ – song reflecting the life of St Francis. 

Jilu Chengat is a wife, mother, missionary, and writer living in Massachusetts, USA, with her husband and four children. Alongside various leadership and ministry roles in Jesus Youth and the Church, her primary passion is accompanying and forming young people and women, helping them grow in freedom, healing, and attentiveness to God’s voice

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