Life Questions ( Kairos Global, May 2026, Issue 98 )

Life Question: Ever since I was small, my parents fought. It was a traumatic experience for me, also because there was no one I could talk to about it. So I decided never to get married. Why inflict innocent kid/s with such trauma.

I am really sorry that you had to grow up in that kind of environment. When a home, which is meant to be a place of safety, becomes a space of fear, confusion, and hurt, it leaves a deep mark. And having no one to talk to about it only makes it heavier. What you felt then, and perhaps still feel now, is very real.

It makes complete sense that you would come to a decision like this – ‘I don’t want to get married; I don’t want to put a child through what I went through.’ That desire to protect another from pain actually shows something very good in you. It shows sensitivity, responsibility, and a deep awareness of how much these things matter.

At the same time, it may help to recognise this: sometimes the decisions we make from a place of hurt, even when they are understandable, may not come from our full freedom. They are shaped by what we have seen and experienced.

You went through something that was not right. But that experience, as powerful as it is, does not have to define the whole of your future.

There’s an important difference between moving on and moving forward.  Moving on can sometimes mean pushing things aside or trying to forget.  Moving forward means gently acknowledging, ‘This has affected me. This has shaped me,’ – and then allowing God to slowly bring healing into those places.

And healing is possible.

Sometimes that includes speaking to someone safe: a counsellor, a mentor, or a trusted adult, because what was carried alone for years should not remain unaddressed. And as Christians, we believe that Jesus does not stay distant from our wounds. Through His own suffering, death, and resurrection, He enters into our brokenness, even the brokenness of our families – not to judge us, but to heal and restore.

Marriage, as you saw it growing up, may have been painful and damaging. But that is not what marriage is meant to be. In God’s plan, marriage is a vocation of love: where two people, imperfect as they are, learn to love with patience, forgiveness, and grace, with Christ at the centre. Many have experienced something very different from what you went through.

This does not mean you must choose marriage. But it does mean this: it is worth allowing yourself the space to heal before making a final decision about it. You deserve to arrive at that decision not from fear or pain, but from freedom and peace.

What happened to you is not your fault. And healing is not something you have to force – but something you can slowly receive, step by step.

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Life Question: As a first-time mom I find it difficult to manage my personal prayer time when I have a full-time job of looking after a baby. Any tips on how to manage this situation?

Oh wow, congratulations on being a first-time mom. I am so happy for you and your bundle of JOY! And yes, this is a very special and of course very demanding season of your life.

Caring for a newborn, especially for the first time, can turn every routine upside down. Sleep becomes uncertain, your time is no longer your own, and even simple things feel stretched. What you are experiencing is not a lack of discipline, it is the reality of love taking a new form.

So, first of all, you can be at peace knowing that it is okay if your usual personal prayer routine is not possible right now. At this stage, your primary vocation is right in front of you, caring for your child. And in the Christian understanding, your vocation is never separate from your relationship with God. In fact, this very season can become a deeply prayerful one, even if it looks very different from before.

It may help to gently shift how you see prayer. Prayer is not only about setting aside time to say prayers; it is also about being with the Lord in the life you are living. 

So many moments in your day can quietly become prayer:• when you are nursing or feeding your baby• when you are watching your child sleep• when you are tired and awake at odd hours• when you are doing small, repetitive tasks, like washing bottles, folding tiny clothes, preparing feeds, or putting things back in place for the third time that day

In those moments, even a simple turning of the heart, ‘Jesus, be with me’ or ‘Lord, give me strength,’ is real prayer.

At the same time, if possible, keep very small anchors:• a short prayer when you wake up or before you sleep;• a decade of the Rosary when you can;• even a single line from Scripture to hold through the day

These are not obligations, but gentle ways of staying connected.

As you grow in your spiritual life, you will discover that prayer is not only something you do, but something your life becomes. In this season, with all its demands, sacrifices, and hidden love, you are already being drawn into that.

Please know that God is not distant from you in this time. He is present right there, in the middle of your care, your tiredness, your uncertainties, the mistakes you may feel you are making, and your love for your child.

Lord Jesus, thank You for the quiet beauty of what this first-time mom, and many others like her, are living right now. In the middle of her tiredness, help her to notice You in the small moments, and grant her a deep and gentle joy.

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Life Question: When can a new parent start faith training their child and how? 

It is like asking, ‘When is the best time to plant a tree?’ The answer is, years ago, maybe even 50 years ago. And if not then, NOW.

Faith formation is not something we begin like sending a child to preschool. It is not just taught, it is lived. So, we start today, NOW.

If you already have a child, start NOW.If you are hoping to have one, start NOW.If you are still discerning marriage, start NOW.

Children do not just learn faith, they catch it. As parents, we are the first Gospel they will read. And we cannot give what we ourselves are not growing in.

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Dear Reader, if you would like answers to something you are grappling with, please send your questions to lifequestions@jykairosmedia.org. Discretion is assured.

Author Profile

Joseph Sebastian, PhD